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Harry Potter and the Review of Unmitigated Awesome
If you can't find the spoilers, if you need the spoilers, but don't want to wade through 800-ish pages of JKR mailing it in, indulge in the most spoiler-soaked snarktastic review of HP&tDH you'll read before...Friday. It's a piece of genius, it is, and not quite as long as the book itself.
Choice bits:
Page 52: Six naked Harry Potters. No. I'm serious. It's almost like Rowling decided "oh, fuck the legions of kids. I'm writing this one for the grownup fans."
Page 82: Oh good, it's the return of Angry Jackass Harry. I never ever get tired of him.
Page 226: Hermione's exclamation of shock: "Merlin's pants!" I mention this without comment. Consider it a sorbet, to cleanse the palate.
Page 309: "MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" Harry Potter is Batman!
Page 626: And it is finally confirmed that Crabbe and Goyle are, in fact, actually intellectually handicapped, rather than just seeming to be.
Choice bits:
Page 52: Six naked Harry Potters. No. I'm serious. It's almost like Rowling decided "oh, fuck the legions of kids. I'm writing this one for the grownup fans."
Page 82: Oh good, it's the return of Angry Jackass Harry. I never ever get tired of him.
Page 226: Hermione's exclamation of shock: "Merlin's pants!" I mention this without comment. Consider it a sorbet, to cleanse the palate.
Page 309: "MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" Harry Potter is Batman!
Page 626: And it is finally confirmed that Crabbe and Goyle are, in fact, actually intellectually handicapped, rather than just seeming to be.