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GDBM: The Baroness does battle
This time another excursion into the lives of the fleet-footed fleidermaus's neighbors, a few new faces arriving in Apocalypse Heights:
-- Every once in a while a mesh comes along that just begs to be included, and oh yes, this one is totally worth it. Meet Mr. Lon. Cy Lon. Yes, he has a plan.
-- Dr. Horrible pays a visit. (You'll find that my Sim-rendering skill is...lax, to say the least. I don't think he looks anywhere near NPH, but I can at least tell him apart from Cy Lon, Lex Luthor, and a mailbox from a distance.
-- A certain school for gifted youngsters has a new campus, too.
Still not nearly as entertaining as giddy jump-rope Batman, but...for completeness's sake.
Cylon birdwatching for beginners: that's not a cardinal, that's your house.
>IF (BIRD) = "HOUSE" THEN STOP(WATCHING)
You probably recognize Mega Droid and Donna Deranged from such other welcome wagons as the not-quite-JLA. Yes, they're married. No, not to each other.
"Some days I just feel like society's too rigid, you know? Like...what if we could just, I don't know, get rid of all the cities, just...I don't know, burn them all down or something."
"I LOVE YOU."
"Is someone slapping the wall with a dead fish or...."
"NEGATIVE. YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE SMASHING FACES AGAINST EACH OTHER."
"Oh dear God. Tell me when I can turn around, okay?"
"ACKNOWLEDGED."
"...Is it...?"
"NOT YET."
One hour later.
"...Hey, are they...still...?"
"THEY ARE NOW GESTURING PROVOCATIVELY."
"Yeah, I...ugh. Thanks."
"These are good sandwiches. I can tell you've been studying cooking."
"INTERROGATIVE: WHY IS THERE A FEATHER IN MY SANDWICH?"
Do Cylons dream of electric sheep? As it turns out, no. (Also note that he's doing his homework on humanity, specifically thirty thousand different ways to disassemble them.)
"I ENJOY HUMAN CUISINE."
"You mean...cooking for people, right...?"
"...YES. YES, THAT IS CORRECT. I AM NOT LYING ABOUT THIS."
In case you were wondering to what depths the Cylons would stoop in their quest to extinguish the human race, here's another: theme restaurants -- death by culture assassination.
Insert "Iron Chef" joke here.
What happens when you forget to take lobster thermidor off your menu and your chef has three points of cooking skill? An instant star-minus-minus.
First customer is retching. Note that the Cylons traditionally overcook everything. They're like space Cajuns.
And yet Armando here walks out with a two-thumbs-up impression of the joint. Must be the karaoke.
Cy Lon's first non-charred business meal: ramen. If you think this was pathetic, the next two meals served were glasses of water. Word gets around fast. I guess this is what happens when your only restaurant competition is Evil Taco Cake Bell.
"Sir, you've been sitting there for four hours drinking water. I'm going to have to ask you to order some food, or I'll call the police."
It's not as bad as "Darth Mall," and thank God for that.
So I had to add a Dr. Horrible. And I didn't start taking screencaps of him or anything, because, well, I didn't intend for him to get caught up in anything.
The welcome wagon to greet Dr. Horrible included the Baroness and Louis Bonnenuit, and I confess to not paying a good deal of attention to them -- hell, Horrible was in the shower -- when this happened.
So we've reached the point in our society where you can go online and find images of the Baroness in a llama costume having a fight in Dr. Horrible's house.
"Aha! I have beaten the sad litte Frenchy-man. I now graze on your nice saladlings."
"Screw you guys, I'm going home."
"Thanks for coming by, llama Baroness."
"Thank you for the foodening, Horrible Doctor."
Meanwhile, I finally had to add a Professor X....
...And the seven children he's adopted as part of an elaborate tax-dodging scheme. (Find the uniform downloads here, they're fantastic.)
My two favorites: Ferrous Ockside (all credit to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
daethkow)....
And Cheddar. She's blue. No, I have no idea why, on either score.
This is the absolutely gorgeous Graymalkin Lane lot downloadable here. However, before you do, you might want to experience this as a cautionary tale.
The inside. Yes, it's gorgeous.
The second floor. Huge? Oh, yes. Too huge? That, too. What this house has in aesthetics it makes up for in practicality, or lack thereof....
Hint to Buster and friend: rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper and paper beats rock, but Chevy beats both of you if you insist on playing "rock paper scissors" in the blinkin' street.
So the professor, not having any real mutants around toorder around delegate, gets a butler named Scot. That should've been a warning sign.
Scot is apparently on a work-release program from a psychiatric hospital where he's being treated for OCD. How do I know this? Because Scot immediately began cooking food....
...And cooking....
...And wouldn't stop until there was food at every possible seating location, of which there are about nine thousand in this house. And the food goes bad before Scot's half-done, making the place uninhabitable with rancid lobster and fetid salad. (Mental note: must make Sims named Rancid Lobster and Fetid Salad.)
Ferrous kept having a water balloon fight with an elder neighbor. Of course, with zero body points, he couldn't hit a closet if he were standing in it, and he was saturated inside an hour. This is the point at which I became glad the game didn't recognize him as being metal, because he would've become a rust-encrusted statue on the back lawn.
In keeping with this Professor Xavier's dream of exploitation of minors, I had a few of them get jobs. Buster, well, had a science career....
...For about an hour.
Son, if this is the worst thing that happens to you at Xavier's school, you're leading a charmed life.
For the record, that's four passersby and one sibling all watching the most enthralling game of hacky sack ever. And they're still so skilled that every other time they drop the sack straight to the ground without even trying to kick it. Scouts for the Kansas City Chiefs are watching this closely.
Next: Louis Bonnenuit versus the Baroness, round two.
-- Every once in a while a mesh comes along that just begs to be included, and oh yes, this one is totally worth it. Meet Mr. Lon. Cy Lon. Yes, he has a plan.
-- Dr. Horrible pays a visit. (You'll find that my Sim-rendering skill is...lax, to say the least. I don't think he looks anywhere near NPH, but I can at least tell him apart from Cy Lon, Lex Luthor, and a mailbox from a distance.
-- A certain school for gifted youngsters has a new campus, too.
Still not nearly as entertaining as giddy jump-rope Batman, but...for completeness's sake.
Cylon birdwatching for beginners: that's not a cardinal, that's your house.
>IF (BIRD) = "HOUSE" THEN STOP(WATCHING)
You probably recognize Mega Droid and Donna Deranged from such other welcome wagons as the not-quite-JLA. Yes, they're married. No, not to each other.
"Some days I just feel like society's too rigid, you know? Like...what if we could just, I don't know, get rid of all the cities, just...I don't know, burn them all down or something."
"I LOVE YOU."
"Is someone slapping the wall with a dead fish or...."
"NEGATIVE. YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE SMASHING FACES AGAINST EACH OTHER."
"Oh dear God. Tell me when I can turn around, okay?"
"ACKNOWLEDGED."
"...Is it...?"
"NOT YET."
One hour later.
"...Hey, are they...still...?"
"THEY ARE NOW GESTURING PROVOCATIVELY."
"Yeah, I...ugh. Thanks."
"These are good sandwiches. I can tell you've been studying cooking."
"INTERROGATIVE: WHY IS THERE A FEATHER IN MY SANDWICH?"
Do Cylons dream of electric sheep? As it turns out, no. (Also note that he's doing his homework on humanity, specifically thirty thousand different ways to disassemble them.)
"I ENJOY HUMAN CUISINE."
"You mean...cooking for people, right...?"
"...YES. YES, THAT IS CORRECT. I AM NOT LYING ABOUT THIS."
In case you were wondering to what depths the Cylons would stoop in their quest to extinguish the human race, here's another: theme restaurants -- death by culture assassination.
Insert "Iron Chef" joke here.
What happens when you forget to take lobster thermidor off your menu and your chef has three points of cooking skill? An instant star-minus-minus.
First customer is retching. Note that the Cylons traditionally overcook everything. They're like space Cajuns.
And yet Armando here walks out with a two-thumbs-up impression of the joint. Must be the karaoke.
Cy Lon's first non-charred business meal: ramen. If you think this was pathetic, the next two meals served were glasses of water. Word gets around fast. I guess this is what happens when your only restaurant competition is Evil Taco Cake Bell.
"Sir, you've been sitting there for four hours drinking water. I'm going to have to ask you to order some food, or I'll call the police."
It's not as bad as "Darth Mall," and thank God for that.
So I had to add a Dr. Horrible. And I didn't start taking screencaps of him or anything, because, well, I didn't intend for him to get caught up in anything.
The welcome wagon to greet Dr. Horrible included the Baroness and Louis Bonnenuit, and I confess to not paying a good deal of attention to them -- hell, Horrible was in the shower -- when this happened.
So we've reached the point in our society where you can go online and find images of the Baroness in a llama costume having a fight in Dr. Horrible's house.
"Aha! I have beaten the sad litte Frenchy-man. I now graze on your nice saladlings."
"Screw you guys, I'm going home."
"Thanks for coming by, llama Baroness."
"Thank you for the foodening, Horrible Doctor."
Meanwhile, I finally had to add a Professor X....
...And the seven children he's adopted as part of an elaborate tax-dodging scheme. (Find the uniform downloads here, they're fantastic.)
My two favorites: Ferrous Ockside (all credit to
daethkow)....And Cheddar. She's blue. No, I have no idea why, on either score.
This is the absolutely gorgeous Graymalkin Lane lot downloadable here. However, before you do, you might want to experience this as a cautionary tale.
The inside. Yes, it's gorgeous.
The second floor. Huge? Oh, yes. Too huge? That, too. What this house has in aesthetics it makes up for in practicality, or lack thereof....
Hint to Buster and friend: rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper and paper beats rock, but Chevy beats both of you if you insist on playing "rock paper scissors" in the blinkin' street.
So the professor, not having any real mutants around to
Scot is apparently on a work-release program from a psychiatric hospital where he's being treated for OCD. How do I know this? Because Scot immediately began cooking food....
...And cooking....
...And wouldn't stop until there was food at every possible seating location, of which there are about nine thousand in this house. And the food goes bad before Scot's half-done, making the place uninhabitable with rancid lobster and fetid salad. (Mental note: must make Sims named Rancid Lobster and Fetid Salad.)
Ferrous kept having a water balloon fight with an elder neighbor. Of course, with zero body points, he couldn't hit a closet if he were standing in it, and he was saturated inside an hour. This is the point at which I became glad the game didn't recognize him as being metal, because he would've become a rust-encrusted statue on the back lawn.
In keeping with this Professor Xavier's dream of exploitation of minors, I had a few of them get jobs. Buster, well, had a science career....
...For about an hour.
Son, if this is the worst thing that happens to you at Xavier's school, you're leading a charmed life.
For the record, that's four passersby and one sibling all watching the most enthralling game of hacky sack ever. And they're still so skilled that every other time they drop the sack straight to the ground without even trying to kick it. Scouts for the Kansas City Chiefs are watching this closely.
Next: Louis Bonnenuit versus the Baroness, round two.
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More Dr. Horrible please! Too bad you can't mutate butler Scott.
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Translate that to Latin and it's going on my family crest. Heh.
I still worry that we might've hit the high water mark with jump-rope Batman, but will keep trying.
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...
That's about right.
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