Under anesthetic, subdivided and synthetic

Been reading more and more about DC's insistence that not only did everything prior to 2011 not happen in their continuity, but that the '90s were a good thing and should be revived. It's like saying everything was horrible about the Renaissance except the plague: that was a keeper. They've been giving books to Rob Liefeld -- bit like handing your car keys to Gary Busey¹ -- and seem surprised that they've been getting zero-star reviews. And zero issues are a thing again, which might serve some purpose as post-Flashpoint your characters have literally a dozen (at best) issues of definite continuity to them. And they're at the point they get to every ten to 12 years where they try to launch Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld again, and in this climate, there's no way that book lasts 12 issues -- I'm betting eight. Not sure who to give ultimate credit to, Bob Harras or Dan Didio: who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who edits him? Guh.

Oh, and Green Lantern is gay now. No, not Ryan Reynolds. Or any of them from the movie. Or the animated series. Or the other one from the animated series. Not even Crab-Faced Guy. It's Alan Scott, your great-grandpa's Green Lantern who isn't even on what they call Earth-1 anymore (he briefly called himself "Sentinel," but nobody cared). For a longtime fan, it's not...even a blip on the radar. (And, as Andrew Wheeler noted, this retroactively removes Alan Scott's gay son Obsidian from continuity, so the GLBT net is actually zero: conservation of gayness in action. Though we missed the Heathers reference possibility: "I love my gay retconned son!") It's a big deal because it's still a big deal; Marvel's approaching inclusiveness with a GLBT cast that can't be encapsulated in 140 characters with room for emoticons and hyperlinks. DC has Alan Scott, Batwoman (remember the media flurry surrounding that little revelation? Neither does anyone else; pity, as she's an excellent character), and, of course, Apollo and the Midnighter, who've had their marriage and relationship retconned into oblivion -- but some things are just inevitable. And there's Voodoo, but she's too boring to even hyperlink.

It's just amusing to me -- this is one of those social issues I don't really have a horse in, but God, but I reserve the right to be pissed off about lazy narratives and abysmal storytelling. It's not even really my fandom anymore -- haven't bought a proper DC book since All-Star Superman (still worth every penny), and don't see myself moving to change that under the current regime. I did watch Justice League: Doom, though, and I love how they managed to keep just enough of Tower of Babel to keep it recognizable, they did suck out plenty of character moments and the entire language-bit in lieu of explosions and punching. Voice cast was great. Otherwise tedious. Read the Tower of Babel Wikipedia entry for a better narrative experience.

In other news, downloaded the entirety of Red Dead Redemption and Mortal Kombat -- the former because I'd heard it was pretty nifty and the latter because, some days, I just need to beat something up and see bones break in slow-motion x-ray vision (Sniper Elite V2 has spoiled me). Red Dead is quite fun -- pretty much the first thing that happened to me when I got into the sandbox part of the world was to get bit by a rattlesnake. Double-fun: one of my cousins (the twin brother of one of my two favorites, in fact) was named Marston -- same as Red Dead's protagonist -- with the same first initial, "J." He also got bit by a rattlesnake. But then, that's almost a rite of passage around here.

And I finally got around to finishing Batman: Arkham Asylum (the game). Until I get to Arkham City, Asylum must simply be content the best Batman game ever, and it actually succeeded in freaking me out at one point. In short, I have too many games to play and there's not enough weekend to play them. ...Hrm. Surely this would qualify for sick leave, right?

Also, apropos of nothing: I would totally have this turtle tortoise's "yeah" as a ringtone.


¹I swear to GOD that that was "Lindsay Lohan" before I changed it, deciding, "No, she hasn't been in any trouble lately, so we'll ease off her for now." Weird.

So I've been trying to play Mass Effect 2 (to get ready for Tuesday's ME3 launch) and a little bit of the original Dragon Age (as DA2 was simply godawful), but I now see why I avoided multiplayer online. A long, long time ago I played the online demo of Battlefield 1942 (with one map, Wake Island) to death. Now I've got Battlefield 3 (with the Back to Karkand expansion) and Battlefield 1943 (a much less complicated and graphic-heavy game), both of which have Wake Island, and both of which reward tactics and teamwork more than simple reflexes. I'm hooked. As long as whoever's on audio isn't being a loud obnoxious cretin (and no, no audio for me), it's an immense amount of fun.

Though I'm not very good yet. I'm typically the lowest-ranked player on whichever server I flit across, and I usually have an abysmal kill/death ratio, but my scores are still pretty decent, as I keep capturing flags and repairing teammates' vehicles and the like. I'm somewhat hampered by the fact that, with more than a few accessories and kits, I still don't know what I'm doing. Which reminds me -- I need to look up how to use the knife before I play again....

Sing along with the theme!



If you run into a pic you don't understand, it's probably a Skyrim reference. Just nod and keep on moving. ( 81 pics below.... )

On a lighter note -- he's an isolated frigid vulpine cop playing by his own rules.



She's a by-the-book airborne equine investigator in the wintry realm of Skyrim.



They fight crime!

I'm not overly sentimental, but I really enjoyed this, particularly the new Ellen McLain lines recorded especially for it. For me, that's reason enough to watch it.

Also I still haven't finished Portal 2. Bad me.

Yes, it's a shameless publicity stunt for a game that's almost ubiquitous now. Still, exploding pigs, dammit.

Because you demanded it did not actually try to stop me from doing it:


( No, seriously, what the hell is goin' on here? )

Having joyously experimented with the negative friction bias, I'm going to toy with some other settings and see if I can't bend the car physics engine to moderately entertaining levels like I used to do with GTA3. Ah, memories.

In lieu of genuine holiday-based content, please navigate to the Aperture Science website for seasonal festivity. And cake.

The latest in our video game bug video round-up: this one actually happened to me, and the video is actually mine. And thankfully I got the replay uploaded.

Lemme paint you a picture. It's the opening game of the season. Our heroes, the #3 Kansas State Pretty Birds, have forced the #5 LSU Tigers¹ to punt from deep in their own territory on their first possession. But considering that I'm expecting this game to be a knife fight the whole way, I'm ready for a little trickery. What I'm not expecting is trickery that bends the laws of time and space.

( Spatial anomaly below the cut. )