sigma7: ranch (Ranch tooth)
( Jan. 26th, 2012 06:46 pm)
On the eve of trivia night in Capital City, [ profile] beagle1971 sends along a thread from a show I've never seen -- IFC's Portlandia -- detailing a typical first reaction to watching Battlestar Galactica.

sigma7: Sims (NFL)
( Oct. 2nd, 2011 08:03 pm)
Oh, Tony Romo. You're playing so badly that you're pissing me off, and I don't like you or the Cowboys. Please keep it up; it's hysterical. Also, Calvin Johnson -- damn. You have earned the right to call yourself "Megatron" or whatever other Transformers-based nickname you want. Though "Calvinus Prime" still has a certain ring to it. Also tests positive for energon cubes.

Damn, break up da Chefs! No more #32 in the power rankings no more! I'm sure Ryan Succop is all, "Who's Mr. Irrelevant now, bitches?" Also, if I were a quarterback in this league, the first thing I would be afraid of is Tamba Hali. Force of nature, that man.

Redskins safety Oshiomogho Atogwe is a comic book geek. “The Red Hulk’s craaazy. Craaaaaaaaazy.” I can't tell you how happy this makes me.

Houston would've beaten Pittsburgh by about a billion points if they hadn't tried to systematically commit every penalty in the playbook. Made the game more watchable, at least.

I give Tony Sparano 18 more hours of employment at best. (Note quarterbacks playing against San Diego: account for Eric Weddle on every play in the last six minutes of the game.) Also my favorite description of Philip Rivers in a long time -- "who one of these days will forget to release the ball at the end of his motion and wind up throwing himself fifty yards." [Edit: okay, so apparently he's safe through the bye week. What. The. Hell. If you're going to make a coaching change mid-season (and given Miami's 0-4 record and disgusting public flirtation with the now-taken Jim Harbaugh, do you really see this relationship panning out?), do it during the bye week. Give your team some time to adapt. Unless, of course, you've written off the season already, and honestly, firing your coach is a pretty telltale sign that you have.]


In other news, my NCAA Football 12 Road to Glory running back is just starting his junior year, having won the Heisman his sophomore year. Oh, and leading his team to two perfect undefeated consecutive seasons (beating Utah in the Orange Bowl last year). Naturally, they're ranked 19th going into the next season. The polling AI is still appallingly lifelike in its capriciousness. Probably because our QB is dumber than a bag of hammers and thinks (along with our coach) that he's an option threat (hint: he's not -- ranked 76 overall, which confers the speed and agility of your average kitchen stove) and gives up on passing plays before anyone can run a route. If I could, I'd totally organize a soap party with the rest of the team. I just hope he's graduating soon.


Finally -- congrats, homecoming queen Mariah Slick.
So 9/11 is three days away. Meh. People seem oblivious to the main advantage of living in a linear timeline -- that events happen, and then they stop happening, and you're free to move on with your goddamn life. Or you could pick at the scab and thoughtfully stroke your scars as if they were the only part of you that matter.

I'm getting increasingly cranky about the compulsion to note and somehow observe anniversaries of pivotal events as if we were honestly capable of forgetting them. Florida Rep. Allen West seems to think it's possible, but West is a tiny-minded anti-Muslim fetishist with a questionable relationship to sanity and an impressive disregard for constitutionality for someone sworn to uphold it. Every single member and institution of the media seems to think it's possible for 9/11 awareness to somehow slide off the public consciousness, and each seems legally obligated to weigh in as yet another anniversary closes. We don't need supposed sports columnist Rick Reilly weighing in with his educated assessment of the bravery of the passengers on United Flight 93 -- Rick, we know, there was a goddamn movie made which we've all had the opportunity to rent if we wanted to, now get back to recycling columns or sucking things out of my carpet. We know. If you can successfully recite two numbers and instinctively know that it refers to a specific event ten years ago (and it's acceptable AP style on any reference), it does not need constant reintroduction to the general public for fear of it evaporating into the ether.

I'm not saying it shouldn't be observed; obviously, if you want to mark the occasion for whatever reason (and I'm certainly not saying those who suffered personal loss on the date should soldier on obliviously), feel free. But we as a people have been doing this for ten straight years, and nobody should be slighted for wanting to finally turn the page.

If you really want to relive or revisit it, watch it as it happens from TV stations from across the world. I throw this out there because it's a fantastic resource and nicely presented and executed (though I wish the clips were longer than 30 seconds apiece), and because one of my personal interests has always been the media's reaction to earth-shattering events -- and I think it can be argued that 9:03 am is the most earth-shattering event ever caught on live TV, certainly by multiple networks (the only other two that come close in my mind are Jack Ruby and losing Challenger, and those were only shown by one network -- though the latter was being watch by thousands of impressionable and soon-to-be scarred schoolchildren). So yeah, I'm deeply intrigued by Diane Sawyer gasping for breath and the panicked shouting of the on-the-scene interviewees and the anchors getting things wrong, wrong, wrong as they unfold. But that's my personal peccadillo, and I've already revisited it at my leisure and to my satisfaction. (If the anchors are too restrained and collected for you, perhaps this reaction is more of what you're looking for; 102 Minutes That Changed America is the definitive found-footage documentary of the NYC end of 9/11 which unfolds in astonishingly swift real-time and is as riveting and horrifying as it could be.)
In honor of MightyGodKing's complete pwnage of the bar exam -- and another hoist of the mug to you, chap -- I wanted to pay homage and also address something that's been gnawing at the back of my skull for some time. No, not the tumor. The answer to the question "If you could create a TV series based on any preexisting intellectual property, what would it be?"

Without a doubt, Buckaroo Banzai.

For the uninitiated, Banzai is what happens when your role-playing character is also the GM: neurosurgeon, rock icon, test car pilot, speaks ten languages -- basically an infinite-character-point character. He'd be a Gary Stu except that he's so damn cool about it all. And that he's assembled around him a cadre of eccentric and invaluable personalities with a gamut of backgrounds and specialties (in terms of all the sciences, hard, soft, violent and musical). It's modern-day pulp filtered through a post-Hawking sensibility, and man, is there a Banzai-shaped hole in my life now.

Why would this work? It comes with a pretty ideal ratio of rabid fanbase to necessary canon (one can cling to the novel or even the comics, or one can reboot from the Peter Weller film altogether, but Jeff Goldblum and Clancy Brown and Christopher Lloyd and John, I couldn't do that). It can be ensemble or character-driven. Its existing mythos lends toward the great arc or episodic installments. It can be dark and gritty or insane pop eye-candy. It could be any and all of these things. Hell, two people could do two series simultaneously and take them in completely different directions and they'd still be more watchable than most of TV right now.

Me, I'd be the greedy bastard and play the field. Keep the Hanoi Xan and the World Crime League as the overarching threat for the first season, maybe two. Have an episode of Reno and New Jersey counting their bullets as they're shooting their way out of an opium den interspersed with Buckaroo sitting unmoving in a Zen garden watching a butterfly alighting upon a lotus and speaking entirely in voiceover tanka. Send Rawhide to the Moon to retrieve the lost keys to Apollo 18. Make Pecos play a violin with a machete. I don't know, but what I don't know is where to stop. Once you get started with these characters, it's hard to let them go.

So who do you get to play them? The casting's half the fun, of course. And this one's more fun than most.

James Marsters as Buckaroo Banzai. I don't have an alternate for this one. The man has an electricity in his screen presence that Peter Weller, sorry, just never had -- it makes his Buckaroo a bit different animal, but Marsters should be able to pull off the semisynthesis of David Bowie, Bill Nye and Malcolm Reynolds. Speaking of, Adam Baldwin as Rawhide. Nestor Carbonell (or maybe Jon Huertas) as Reno. Tahmoh Penikett as Perfect Tommy. Joshua Malina as New Jersey. Brenda Strong as Pecos (Tricia Hefler a distant second). Judy Greer as Penny Priddy -- if Penny's still around. George Takei as Dr. Hikita -- or Larry Hama, I'd be good with that, too. And how awesome a Hanoi Xan would Daniel Dae Kim be?

And the first episode? Rescuing Emilio Lizardo.


sigma7: Sims (Default)


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