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Also that time of year again
YAYEZ FOOTBALLZ
It's a fun flip from last year, when the NFL had the lockout looming and the NCAA was only vaguely appalling -- now the college ranks seem to be caught in a two way struggle, one an all-out douchefest between conference-defecting teams (even more so than last year) or a scramble to see how many blatant violations a school can commit and incur the mighty wrath of having a handful of players sit out the season opener against perennial juggernaut West Boise State. The NFL -- where coaches like Pete Carroll and players like Reggie Bush escape from their college transgressions unscathed -- suddenly became an institution of laughably pretentious decorum, enforcing penalties on players and coaches for infractions committed while at the college level, which seems deserved if somehow not right; surely Roger Goodell has heard the word ex post facto at some point in his life and is lucky Terrell Pryor and Jim Tressel both know which side their bread's buttered and don't want to challenge this de facto farm club relationship between the NFL and the NCAA. A decently-motivated lawyer could have a hell of a time with this. Pity they're all busy paying Miami players.
So the NFL is the obviously professional league, and the NCAA is its implicitly professional junior corps. The transparency only makes it funnier.
Still, so now the million-dollar level athletes take the field. There are some who're writing off the Colts immediately after Peyton Manning's neck surgery, and I'm one of them. I'm a firm believer in the power of Peyton, as his perennial presence aboard the Manhattan Pretty Birds fantasy team would attest, and especially when your team is geared around his inimitable playmaking skills (which the Colts are and should be), trying to sub in Kerry Collins is like replacing Cate Blanchett with Carol Channing. Actually, Carol Channing might be an improvement over Kerry Collins -- she might be younger, I haven't done the math.
I also had the Chefs in the mix in the AFC West playoff picture until second-year tight end revelation Tony Moeaki tore his ACL while inexplicably playing in the second quarter of KC's last preseason game, and while Moe's not quite the indispensable cog Peyton is, I don't think that there's that much room for error in the AFC playoff hunt; no, not even against BRING ME THE SKULL OF Norv Turner, the Chargers' alleged coach, the man who makes Forrest Gump look like Vince Lombardi. Even without tiny speedster Darren Sproles, even without a coach with a central nervous system, even with their totally well-earned reputation for gnawing their own feet off during the first six weeks of the season, I see the Bolts moving on this year. Maybe the Chefs are in the wildcard mix, but I don't see it happening without Moe.
As for the final two this year, I hate to admit it, but the Pack look better than ever, so they get my pick in the NFC (and I still can't rule out the Saints with Drew under center, and Philly's, as usual, in contention, but only that). It's a toss-up for me in the AFC, but I think the Pats and the Bolts and Pittsburgh are in the mix with the Jets on the outside, if only because I bloody hate the Ryans and have heard enough of their brood for one lifetime and God wants me to suffer by constantly bringing them up. I don't know who makes it in the AFC; I don't think it matters.
Now, the question is, to play Madden with the birds or watch Saints/Packers? Might have to record the game so's I can watch at my leisure with the kids tomorrow. Muffin enjoys being my offensive coordinator.
It's a fun flip from last year, when the NFL had the lockout looming and the NCAA was only vaguely appalling -- now the college ranks seem to be caught in a two way struggle, one an all-out douchefest between conference-defecting teams (even more so than last year) or a scramble to see how many blatant violations a school can commit and incur the mighty wrath of having a handful of players sit out the season opener against perennial juggernaut West Boise State. The NFL -- where coaches like Pete Carroll and players like Reggie Bush escape from their college transgressions unscathed -- suddenly became an institution of laughably pretentious decorum, enforcing penalties on players and coaches for infractions committed while at the college level, which seems deserved if somehow not right; surely Roger Goodell has heard the word ex post facto at some point in his life and is lucky Terrell Pryor and Jim Tressel both know which side their bread's buttered and don't want to challenge this de facto farm club relationship between the NFL and the NCAA. A decently-motivated lawyer could have a hell of a time with this. Pity they're all busy paying Miami players.
So the NFL is the obviously professional league, and the NCAA is its implicitly professional junior corps. The transparency only makes it funnier.
Still, so now the million-dollar level athletes take the field. There are some who're writing off the Colts immediately after Peyton Manning's neck surgery, and I'm one of them. I'm a firm believer in the power of Peyton, as his perennial presence aboard the Manhattan Pretty Birds fantasy team would attest, and especially when your team is geared around his inimitable playmaking skills (which the Colts are and should be), trying to sub in Kerry Collins is like replacing Cate Blanchett with Carol Channing. Actually, Carol Channing might be an improvement over Kerry Collins -- she might be younger, I haven't done the math.
I also had the Chefs in the mix in the AFC West playoff picture until second-year tight end revelation Tony Moeaki tore his ACL while inexplicably playing in the second quarter of KC's last preseason game, and while Moe's not quite the indispensable cog Peyton is, I don't think that there's that much room for error in the AFC playoff hunt; no, not even against BRING ME THE SKULL OF Norv Turner, the Chargers' alleged coach, the man who makes Forrest Gump look like Vince Lombardi. Even without tiny speedster Darren Sproles, even without a coach with a central nervous system, even with their totally well-earned reputation for gnawing their own feet off during the first six weeks of the season, I see the Bolts moving on this year. Maybe the Chefs are in the wildcard mix, but I don't see it happening without Moe.
As for the final two this year, I hate to admit it, but the Pack look better than ever, so they get my pick in the NFC (and I still can't rule out the Saints with Drew under center, and Philly's, as usual, in contention, but only that). It's a toss-up for me in the AFC, but I think the Pats and the Bolts and Pittsburgh are in the mix with the Jets on the outside, if only because I bloody hate the Ryans and have heard enough of their brood for one lifetime and God wants me to suffer by constantly bringing them up. I don't know who makes it in the AFC; I don't think it matters.
Now, the question is, to play Madden with the birds or watch Saints/Packers? Might have to record the game so's I can watch at my leisure with the kids tomorrow. Muffin enjoys being my offensive coordinator.
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I got into it bad with a couple of A&M people on Facebook yesterday who were mad at Baylor for stopping them going to the SEC and I told them that they were not exactly above reproach, since they were reneging on their promise to help keep the Big 12 together AND they're bitching about Texas getting their own network when they were offered by Texas a long time ago to get in! You cannot turn into whiny bitches about the LHN when you were offered a piece of it, Ags.
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I'm not a big fan of any school reneging on its conference commitments and bolting for a new suitor at the first flicker of their eyelashes, but when a school tries it, gets caught and twisted to the mat (by Baylor, of all schools) and then wants to whine their little hearts out about the injustice of it all that it's just not America because they can't get their way right now and all of the time -- it's hysterical. I don't care if ultimately they leave or stay; I just want them to suffer.
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Given that the stated goal for ANY football program in the state of Texas is at least conference champions, this is an idiotic move on multiple levels. You aren't going to get a hugely different pool of players. Texas kids grow up Aggies or 'Horns. Some poor souls are Red Raiders. That's what drives your school choice. Colt McCoy doesn't give up a chance to play for Mack Brown and win a national title for a shot to get the crap beat out of him in a loss to 'Bama.
I'm waiting for the realization to hit that 100 years of football tradition is being tossed out. It's not going to be the 'Horns who feel it. It's gonna be the Aggies. I mean their fight song specifically bashes the 'Horns.
This is gonna be real interesting.
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As for the Big 12 implosion, no offense, but this MVC alumnus is making the popcorn to watch the fun unfold. Besides, it sounds like you guys already have a soft landing spot in the Big East if things go pear-shaped for the B12. 10. 9. Whatever it is now. Personally, I'd love to see the combination of this and the KU ticket scandal turning them into pariahs and watching them prostrate themselves to every conference with a TV deal, but then again I have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, so I'm bent toward those sort of revenge fantasies.
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I think the Chefs' relative youth coupled with the lockout left them a little cold going into the preseason, so I don't think we've really seen them yet (and is the best justification I can see for Moe's presence on the field against the Pack). The one-two backfield punch will serve them well unless they fall behind early, in which case the idea of Cassel trying to win the game on his own and forcing passes into undue coverage kinda terrifies me. On paper, the Chefs should be a solid second behind the Bolts. But that was true last year, too.
I'm only a little perturbed at the inevitable migration to the Big East, mainly for, say, the volleyball or golf teams that get to ride a bus all the way to Providence. I don't think anyone's going to shed an inordinate amount of tears over not being laden with having to weather the fanbase of Norman or Lincoln or anywhere in Texas anymore (TCU doesn't count). The KU ticket scandal, though...is that still a thing? I mean, Miami might as well field a team of mercenaries with price tags attached, Ohio State virtually institutionalized its bribery, even Dave "let's frame our murdered player as a druggie" Bliss got a prep school coaching job again (only to get suspended from it, too), and NCAA enforcement is simply laughable (oh, no, not probation again). Ask Reggie Bush and Jim Carroll how badly forfeited wins haunt their dreams. It's Kafka-esque hysterical. As long as the cash keeps flipping into the right hands and boosters get the access they want and their games in hi-def, nobody gives a shit. The inherent inequities in college athletics should keep any fan with a soul up at night. Thank Christ for Ambien.
And is there anything Dan Beebe can do besides not kill sports programs? It seems to be his singular claim to fame as opposed to keeping together the conference he nominally runs. He was a speedbump last year and this year the only thing he's done is sign a Neville Chamberlain-like no-hard-feelings letter to A&M, only to be undercut by Baylor, of all places. Best thing about all this conference-hopping is, God willing, it'll put him out of a job.
In related news, the Gus Johnson play-by-play in Madden 12 is worse than the original SportsTalk Football. The best parts of Madden and NCAA Football would make the greatest game ever; pity they're in two separate titles.
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I know, in light of everything else KU seems like small potatoes, but then again, unlike EVERY OTHER INSTANCE of NCAA violations, they actually had people go to jail over it, just not all of the right ones (I'm looking at you, Perkins). This last round of suspensions are truly laughable, and I keep asking Cris, "those five Miami players suspended ... that's not IT, is it?" I still don't see how that program doesn't get the death penalty. They've been in constant violation of the rules since 1995 AT LEAST. This is SMU-level of disdain for the rules. Tressel will be richly rewarded for the rest of his career for falling on his sword at Ohio State. I'm only surprised the Carroll didn't hire him first.
Jenn Player has said this for years, that the main problem is that football and basketball really don't have farm systems like baseball and hockey. So the college teams fill that role. I would add that the peculiar combination of student-athletes who really want to be just athletes and prideful alumni who couldn't throw a football with a trebuchet is what the real problem is. A true prospective professional athlete wouldn't waste his time going to college for the pittance of a couple of beer parties and a car, and a true student-athlete wouldn't command that sort of price. The NBA is (well ... was) trying to do the right thing (kinda sorta) with the D-league. The NFL has nothing. If the NFLPA really wanted to make a positive change, they should have demanded the formation of a minor-league system. Lord knows there's enough profits to sink into it.
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"Run up the middle, five yard gain, tackle made." (matter-of-factly)
... (pause long enough to find a parking space at Arrowhead)
"...BY JENKINS!" (as if the game's just been won)
Collinsworth isn't bad, but as color guy, he doesn't get half his commentary spliced and reassembled. The work on Brad Nessler's commentary in NCAA is just exceptional (and Nessler seems to have put in a hell of a lot more time in the recording booth for thousands of nicknames and last names); it's so bad in Madden you'll seriously consider turning it off altogether.
If there were the slightest justice or illusion of equity in the college ranks, Miami would find itself axed for at least two years. Given its alumni and the TV dollars involved, I'm not stayin' up nights.
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But back to yesterday, it was the worst performance I've ever seen from an ostensibly professional team. Haley was incompetant, the O.C. was unimaginative, Cassel was cowardly, Bowe was ... Bowe, the defense overpursued worse than Wile E. Coyote and had the cognitive abilities of Tardy Turtle and the tackling skills of a parapeligic. Of course the refs were apparently on an exchange program from the NBA, but what really pissed us off was that it didn't look like anybody gave a s#!*. You just got punked out ... publicly ... by CHAN GAILEY.
Of course, things would have been easier if we weren't bumping up against the Salary Cap. Oh wait .....
And now parking at Arrowhead is $27. That's a $5 increase from last year. At our reduced-cost season tickets ($250 for all ten home games) that means, in the words of Cris, "it costs more to park your car than to park your keister."
Thank God hockey season starts soon.
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I kept waiting for the Chefs to shake out the cobwebs and finally get in the game, but you're right, it wasn't a matter of Buffalo being decent, KC was just...wretched. I'm hoping this is the wake-up-call they needed to get back into the swing of things (and I hate to imagine what their practices are like this week); God knows getting spanked by Buffalo has to set off warning lights across the board.
But at least KC had four A-10s flyover instead of one lame-ass Osprey. Ftui. Though San Diego did have an eagle, and that was nice.
I saw a bunch of similarities in the KC and SD games, actually -- inauspicious kickoffs to start the game, down in a hole early, playcalling from the "roll 2D20 to see what play you call" school of thought.... I kept waiting for the Chefs to spark, but apathy set in -- not even panic, there didn't seem to be that level of emotional involvement or concern (though Jon McGraw and Tamba Hali showed up, but I'll take Tamba after four bottles of NyQuil before almost anyone else). The Bolts overcame some seriously odd playcalling to convert plays they shouldn't have, and Phil didn't execute poorly at all (one INT in desperation time in the end of the first half and one to Jared Allen who was in perfect coverage). I don't know if it's because the Chargers had more weapons at their disposal and a willingness to use them all (Thomas Jones had two touches on the day?).
I don't think losing Eric Berry's going to doom the Chefs (oh, and he's done for the year; brilliant), but at the same time, it's not like they have slack to give anymore. Unless Pioli puts away the crayons and makes some significant moves, Detroit's going to be the last yardstick for KC's postseason potential, and I think they're a much better team than Buffalo. But where do you start in KC? Tight end is an obvious place, but who's out there worth paying free agent money for? Or do you deal part of your backfield (especially if you're not gonna use it) in a trade? I honestly don't know, and after one real game, maybe it's still too soon to tell.
The Minn/SD game was enjoyable for me not just because of Scifres (though that was frickin' awesome), but because there's nothing quite like that feeling you get when you're down a score, you've got the ball, you're driving down the field, the offense is clicking and you're like, "Yeah, we got this." Of course, it's Minnesota, so I'm not engraving the rings yet, but we'll take it.