sigma7: Sims (NFL)
sigma7 ([personal profile] sigma7) wrote2011-09-19 06:44 pm
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Week 2: oh my god you guys oh my god

I don't think I've ever seen a string of luck hit a sports team as badly as the Kansas City Chiefs have been hammered in the last three weeks. At least, not one that didn't involve a plane crash. The Chefs have lost, in order, their star tight end, their (arguably) best defensive player and their young up-and-coming running back, all out for the season. They've lost their first two games by a combined score of 89-10, and if anything, the losses were worse than the score would indicate. They're the embodiment of the idea of "freefall," and they need a patsy team to cushion the fall. Guess who they're playing next week?

San Diego squeaked a win out in Week 1, then when given several opportunities to claw their way back into the New England game yesterday, politely declined to do so, possibly concerned they'd miss the flight back to California. Apparently the only thing worse than losing your starting tight end is forgetting you have one, and then on the only time you do target him, you throw it straight into the hands of the largest, slowest man east of the Mississippi River. If Philip Rivers and Mike Tolbert had stopped trying to win the game on every down and just cut wood, good things would've happened, but they forced it, and maybe against Minnesota that wins you the game. But not against the Patriots. Vince Jackson played like a man possessed, making at least one stupid-freaky one-handed catch that I thought I'd never see the like of again (until Tony Gonzalez topped it last night). The Bolts are -- just like last year -- finding new and exciting ways to circumvent their own inherent talents by making huge mental mistakes in every facet of the game (particularly coaching BRING ME THE HEAD OF NORV TURNER), which, if nothing else, makes them interesting to watch but frustrating to root for.

Next week will be...picturesque. The three Chiefs I have the most faith in are the kicker, punter and force-of-goddamn-nature Tamba Hali. Hali used to be a defensive lineman, and he's since been retooled into a linebacker. Man could be anything he wanted to on the field; he's probably got the talent for it, and if not, you're not going to tell him otherwise. Quarterback Matt "White" Cassel can be inconsistent, and wide receiving monster Dwayne Bowe can have as good a game as he decides to, but it's a roll of the dice as to whether they drink the Gatorade or the Thorazine before the game. That's exactly the type of team the Chargers have devolved into, just with bigger names and more potential for an explosive day (and a somehow iffier special teams unit).

The sad truth of it is that the Chefs are depleted and discombobulated, probably to the point of being the least coherent team in the league. And they can still beat the Chargers next week.

Unrelated, your college football clip of the week -- Florida State's Kenny Shaw tries to make an exceptional touchdown grab and pays for it dearly:



Shaw's okay, but I remember very clearly thinking he'd been killed on the play.

[identity profile] sigma7.livejournal.com 2011-09-22 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I could see taking Haley to task for a few issues (namely that fourth preseason game), but blaming him for the current pear-shape of the season is just a bit ridiculous. If the Chefs hit .500 this season, he should be Coach of the Year. If they go 0-16, given the fact that nobody seems to have knees in the KC metro area anymore, I don't think anybody should be surprised, and hanging him out to dry isn't going to solve anything. And bringing in Josh McDaniels...oh, God, it's nonsensically idiotic enough to be plausible. And this is the point at which I suggest that Scott Pioli might be too dumb to live.

My suggestions for the Big 12 were to meet, shitcan Beebe (which has been a long time coming), vote out OU and UT (who seem intent on undermining the conference by threatening to bolt at every turn), and merge with the remnants of the Big East. Texas is going to have its sweetheart deal with ESPN any way it's cut, and there's no point in pretending there's a level playing field with that condition. Oklahoma would join the Warsaw Pact if it gave them fifty cents more a year and soothed their ego. If OSU and Missou want to go and can find anyone that wants them, punt 'em too.

What's going to end up happening is that, when all the cards are dealt and the dust settles some 15-odd years from now is that ESPN, by virtue of the Longhorn Network, will have killed the NCAA. And I just wish it could come sooner.