Week 2: oh my god you guys oh my god

[sigma7]

I don't think I've ever seen a string of luck hit a sports team as badly as the Kansas City Chiefs have been hammered in the last three weeks. At least, not one that didn't involve a plane crash. The Chefs have lost, in order, their star tight end, their (arguably) best defensive player and their young up-and-coming running back, all out for the season. They've lost their first two games by a combined score of 89-10, and if anything, the losses were worse than the score would indicate. They're the embodiment of the idea of "freefall," and they need a patsy team to cushion the fall. Guess who they're playing next week?

San Diego squeaked a win out in Week 1, then when given several opportunities to claw their way back into the New England game yesterday, politely declined to do so, possibly concerned they'd miss the flight back to California. Apparently the only thing worse than losing your starting tight end is forgetting you have one, and then on the only time you do target him, you throw it straight into the hands of the largest, slowest man east of the Mississippi River. If Philip Rivers and Mike Tolbert had stopped trying to win the game on every down and just cut wood, good things would've happened, but they forced it, and maybe against Minnesota that wins you the game. But not against the Patriots. Vince Jackson played like a man possessed, making at least one stupid-freaky one-handed catch that I thought I'd never see the like of again (until Tony Gonzalez topped it last night). The Bolts are -- just like last year -- finding new and exciting ways to circumvent their own inherent talents by making huge mental mistakes in every facet of the game (particularly coaching BRING ME THE HEAD OF NORV TURNER), which, if nothing else, makes them interesting to watch but frustrating to root for.

Next week will be...picturesque. The three Chiefs I have the most faith in are the kicker, punter and force-of-goddamn-nature Tamba Hali. Hali used to be a defensive lineman, and he's since been retooled into a linebacker. Man could be anything he wanted to on the field; he's probably got the talent for it, and if not, you're not going to tell him otherwise. Quarterback Matt "White" Cassel can be inconsistent, and wide receiving monster Dwayne Bowe can have as good a game as he decides to, but it's a roll of the dice as to whether they drink the Gatorade or the Thorazine before the game. That's exactly the type of team the Chargers have devolved into, just with bigger names and more potential for an explosive day (and a somehow iffier special teams unit).

The sad truth of it is that the Chefs are depleted and discombobulated, probably to the point of being the least coherent team in the league. And they can still beat the Chargers next week.

Unrelated, your college football clip of the week -- Florida State's Kenny Shaw tries to make an exceptional touchdown grab and pays for it dearly:

Shaw's okay, but I remember very clearly thinking he'd been killed on the play.

Comments

[bedsitter23.livejournal.com]

I'd argue that the Rams lost Bradford (he's back), Steven Jackson, their top WR in Danny Amendola, and DB Ron Bartell; but I think the Chefs have it the worst of all.

I watched the Bolts game, thinking surely, they have fired Norval by now, but there he was on the sidelines...

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

We may be living in a world where Todd Haley gets hired and fired before Norv gets canned. Which I don't think is right for any number of reasons, mostly because you can lay some of the blame for the Moeaki injury at Haley's feet, can you really fault him for Berry and Charles? (But that's a legitimate question; I think you could make an argument that you could, given the unique circumstances of preseason conditioning or lack thereof this season and the emphasis that puts on individual coaches.)

If the Rams had lose Bradford for a length of time, they're in trouble -- I really like his skill set as it translates to the pro game, and Jackson's an essential cog, to be sure. If Bradford had more weapons I think he'd be lighting up the scoreboard and getting more attention across the league, but so far, he's remained relatively unheralded. They're a team that can punch your teeth out if you're not ready for 'em. They're between KC and SD on the upside-o-meter -- on their best day they can hang with any team in the league, but they can't necessarily beat any team in the league. But they're gettin' there.

But if you see Norv on the sideline at any point, introduce him to Antonio Gates for me, will ya? I don't think they've met.

[patchsassy.livejournal.com]

Being stuck out here in Indiana, people are practically suicidal over Manning's neck injury. Seeing as how Indiana's football team blows (at least for Chiefs fans, some of them are at least Missouri/Kansas State fans, so their team isn't at least as horrible as Kansas' is) this gives most of the people in this area (including Purdue fans, as they're just about as wretched in pigskin as the good ol' Hoosiers) nothing to live for until basketball season starts.

Good times.

[aardy.livejournal.com]

And here in Illinois, the Bears are mediocre as always, so they'll probably win just enough to be unable to get any decent draft picks next year. (Of course, even if they did get a decent draft pick, they have this knack of picking someone who either has a career-ending injury during the pre-season or can't manage to make the transition to NFL-level play.)

And Cutler may as well just lay down the instant he touches the ball-- it'll be quicker (and safer) that way.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

I know I don't speak for everyone in the AFC West, but we were glad to see Cutler go. I always thought he had a potential to light things up that none of the other opposition QBs really had (especially JaMarcus Russell); it was woefully inconsistent, sure, but he was dangerous. He was not a QB for whom you rubbed your hands in anticipation when you saw him lining up under center (like, again, Russell) because you knew he could beat you. The trade for Kyle Orton replaced him with a QB right in-between -- no anticipation but no fear either, just "oh, it's this guy." I always thought the Bears got the better end of that swap.

Based on what I've seen so far this season of the Bears, they're good enough to take out the Falcons -- no small feat -- and hang with the Saints, one of the upper echelon teams of the NFC. Next week's not gonna be any easier, though. I thought they looked pretty good, and I'm certainly not looking forward to them being on the Bolts' schedule.

[aardy.livejournal.com]

Oh, no argument, the Bears definitely got the better end of that swap.

But after surviving 11 sacks in just 2 games, and an offensive line coach who thinks the best way to keep one's opponents off-balance is to call the same play over and over, Cutler might be able to survive the season without a career-ending injury if he immediately takes a knee whenever he gets the ball, which then gains the team a few yards due to the resulting technical foul when a tackle occasionally hits him anyway.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Understandably, actually -- if you had to pick just one player who was singularly integral to his team's success and execution, that's the guy. With him the Colts are perennial contenders, and without, they're bottom-feeders. At least you can't rule him out for the season -- it's just that by the time he does reenter the picture, it's probably too late.

And some of my favorite players have been Boilermakers. Well, okay, one of them.

[motteditor.livejournal.com]

FWIW, it was undrafted safety Sergio Brown who picked off the pass intended for Gates; Wilfork picked off another pass.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

You're right; my bad. I think the rollout route had me convinced it was a Gates pattern.

[daethkow.livejournal.com]

The Chiefs fans are in full Whaargarbl mode right now. Half are blaming Haley, half are blaming Scott Pioli, half are blaming Clark Hunt, half are blaming Matt Cassell, half are blaming Mitch Holthus, I think.

I think what I said about Haley, before, believe it or not, is still true: If he doesn't lose the team, he'll survive the year. But the fact that the most credible rumor is that the front office is considering replacing Haley with Josh McDaniels is ... pretty much the definition of a bad omen.

And that clip fills me with just about as much righteous fury that one can have in sports. BOTH Okies targetted the head. BOTH of them. Do you really want to stay in a league with these thugs? I would find it the epitome of comedy and karma if, tomorrow, the six not-COMPLETE-douchebag schools and Missouri all announced they were joining the Big East, SEC, whoever, leaving Texas and OU out in the cold doing their codependent circle-jerk ... until the Pac-12 reneged yet again and signed them. Sigh.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

I could see taking Haley to task for a few issues (namely that fourth preseason game), but blaming him for the current pear-shape of the season is just a bit ridiculous. If the Chefs hit .500 this season, he should be Coach of the Year. If they go 0-16, given the fact that nobody seems to have knees in the KC metro area anymore, I don't think anybody should be surprised, and hanging him out to dry isn't going to solve anything. And bringing in Josh McDaniels...oh, God, it's nonsensically idiotic enough to be plausible. And this is the point at which I suggest that Scott Pioli might be too dumb to live.

My suggestions for the Big 12 were to meet, shitcan Beebe (which has been a long time coming), vote out OU and UT (who seem intent on undermining the conference by threatening to bolt at every turn), and merge with the remnants of the Big East. Texas is going to have its sweetheart deal with ESPN any way it's cut, and there's no point in pretending there's a level playing field with that condition. Oklahoma would join the Warsaw Pact if it gave them fifty cents more a year and soothed their ego. If OSU and Missou want to go and can find anyone that wants them, punt 'em too.

What's going to end up happening is that, when all the cards are dealt and the dust settles some 15-odd years from now is that ESPN, by virtue of the Longhorn Network, will have killed the NCAA. And I just wish it could come sooner.