Associated Press, why hast thou forsaken me?

GREEN BAY, Wis. (AP) -- Green Bay Packers wide receiver Robert Ferguson will stay in the hospital at least one more night as he recovers from the vicious clothesline hit by Jacksonville Jaguars safety Donovin Darius.

Ferguson suffered a concussion and was temporarily paralyzed below the waste when he was hit Sunday. He regained feeling and movement on his way to Bellin Hospital, where he was kept overnight.

Good news: Ferguson is doing better. After the hit Sunday night, I'm glad he's still alive.

Bad news: AP? HE HATE ME. It's not as bad as to/too/two, but ick. I know it's sports reporting, but it still counts.

File under awesome: Dad stopped by to drop off the Christmas present. The best part? He's up and walking with just the slightest limp. Hey, I've got what I wanted for Christmas already.

(6.02 *10^23) degrees of separation

The woman who ripped out the Missouri woman's fetus? Yeah. We're more closely connected than I realized.

She is my ex-girlfriend's brother's wife's parents' neighbors' son's wife.

Uhm, yeah. No, wait. Let me see if I can get time on the Cray supercomputer to break that down and verify it.

Yeah. It's like we're related.

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

A study testing whether Celebrex or naproxen would reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease was halted Monday after researchers noted an increase in heart attack and stroke among participants who were taking naproxen, an over-the-counter pain reliever on the market for nearly 30 years.

First Vioxx, then Celebrex, now naproxen. Good holy cow. Here's a suggestion. No more advertising of prescription drugs. Obviously won't happen, because pharmaceutical companies spend, what, about as much on advertising as they do on R&D? And that has a buoying effect on the advertising media in all its shapes and forms (from Mark Martin's Viagra Nascar team to those delightful commercials). And Bob Dole simply won't let it happen. But it would cut down on hypochondriacs and consumers impressed-upon by the advertising.

That's just a rash idea thrown out there -- I'm sure it has more potential downsides than, you know, money, but I don't think it has a bigger downside. I don't think it needs one. Just wanted to spur the cognitive gears. Might as well just replace everyone's meds with Pez and wait for nature to take its course. I'll be gnawing my foot off in a week.

Follow-up: more Bibles in newspapers coming.