Fished in

Have you ever wondered, while getting your teeth cleaned, what it'd feel like if the dental hygenist whipped the scythe-like pointy-steel fish-hook-like instrument right into your tender lip-flesh?

Here's the answer: NOT GOOD. I'm just lucky there's not going to be a picture in the morning paper of her standing next to me, suspended by my lip from a scale. "Caught: the elusive freshwater technician! Weighs in at over 150 pounds, plus sweater, leather coat!"

I was offered an "Oops, sorry" for it, then nothing else. And I did have to break the cleaning at one point just so I could brush the blood from my lip. Overall I don't know if it's partially the hangover from a miserable weekend (despite the pigskin awesomeness that was the Chefs and Bolts) but today has, on all possible levels, sucked badly, even apart from my dental hygenist playing "catch, bill and release."

To celebrate my escape, I bought Sixlets, Chewy Spree, three boxes of Nerds and a handful of Laffy Taffy. I'm feeling just a little grumpy and curmudgeonly, and sadly, I don't think the sugar's helping.

Trek -- all of it

The Ultimate Star Trek Collection: Here's the ultimate collection for the ultimate fan. This 212-disc behemoth encompasses five broadcast series and 10 feature films and is, with a few exceptions, all the Trek a Trekker could want.

Yes, that's 212 DVDs, all the movies, all the TV series. List price is $3,908.99, but it can be yours from Amazon for only $2,499.99.

And the people who buy this will (a) already have it all memorized (b) buy it again when it comes out for HDTV.

You go, Andy

Terrell Owens will not play for the Philadelphia Eagles again this season.

Coach Andy Reid announced Monday that Owens had been suspended by the team for four games for conduct detrimental to the team, the maximum games allowed by league rules, and would not return to the team for the remainder of the season.

A brave thing to do when the team's in a tailspin, Andy. But kudos to you (and ESPN seems to agree: "Owens is not Anakin Skywalker and his behavior since the Super Bowl suggests that there is no good in him whatsoever."). He thinks he's bigger than the game. Let him reflect on this until August.