Bad college newspaper, no fish-biscuit

An article in the annual joke issue of Princeton University's student newspaper has left some readers accusing its staff of racism.

The Daily Princetonian issue included a column with a byline that closely resembles the name of Jian Li, an 18-year-old Asian man who filed a civil rights complaint against the university last summer after he was denied admission....

...Under a byline of Lian Ji, the article published Wednesday used broken English and spouted racial stereotypes to bash the school for his rejection.

"Hi Princeton! Remember me? I so good at math and science. Perfect 2400 SAT score. Ring Bells?" the article begins. "Just in case, let me refresh your memories. I the super smart Asian. Princeton the super dumb college, not accept me."

Well, this has done nothing for me except inexorably entwine the ideas of "Princeton" and "the super dumb college." Someone translate that to Latin for me and we've got a new motto!

Black and bitter

File this under: creepy and dangerous customer. At one point, Kyle Eugene Copeland, 20, was buying 10 or more cups of coffee a day so he could see the 17-year-old barista at a West Seattle Starbucks. He then asked the girl to marry him and have his babies. After the barista reported his odd behavior, the man tried to buy a gun. He didn't pull that off, but he threatened the girl.

In his defense, though, this doesn't seem like atypical behavior for someone having 10+ cups of coffee a day.

Holy crap: Gonzales says Constitution doesn't guarantee habeas corpus

In one of the most chilling public statements ever made by a U.S. Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales questioned whether the U.S. Constitution grants habeas corpus rights of a fair trial to every American.

Responding to questions from Sen. Arlen Specter at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Jan. 18, Gonzales argued that the Constitution doesn’t explicitly bestow habeas corpus rights; it merely says when the so-called Great Writ can be suspended.

“There is no expressed grant of habeas in the Constitution; there’s a prohibition against taking it away,” Gonzales said.

Gonzales’s remark left Specter, the committee’s ranking Republican, stammering.

“Wait a minute,” Specter interjected. “The Constitution says you can’t take it away except in case of rebellion or invasion. Doesn’t that mean you have the right of habeas corpus unless there’s a rebellion or invasion?”

Gonzales continued, “The Constitution doesn’t say every individual in the United States or citizen is hereby granted or assured the right of habeas corpus. It doesn’t say that. It simply says the right shall not be suspended” except in cases of rebellion or invasion.”

Now how did this guy pass the bar again? We're through the looking-glass, here, people. And this isn't a homeless crank on the streetcorner (yet) -- this is the nation's top cop.

Angels and ministers of grace, protect us.