Good news for home ec

[sigma7]

This may seem impossible to you, but it’s true.

Sixty-five — again, 65 — of Timken High School’s 490 girl students are pregnant.

That’s a number confirmed by Principal Kim Redmond, whose staff, in less than a week, will inherit a problem it had no part in causing.

Whose fault is it that more than 13 percent of Timken’s girls are with child? Some would say fault-finding isn’t a fruitful exercise, but in this case, it’s critical. Suspects range from movies, TV and video games to lazy parents and lax discipline. Only one thing is sure: Schools don’t impregnate children.

“This has gotten to horrible proportions,” said Redmond. “I wish I knew the answer to why it’s happening.”

*headdesk* Surely you don't need it explained. ...Or maybe that's the problem....

"Video games?" ...I'm pretty sure that Grand Theft Auto did not impregnate your children, even with the Rumble Pak on.

Comments

[norabombay.livejournal.com]

Grand Theft Auto is actually a pregnancy preventer.

Every moment a teen boy spends with his playstation 2 is a moment when he's incapable of impregnating somebody.

In fact, the 900 hours he spends trying to unlock the game's graphic sex is 900 hours he's not impregnating an actual girl.

[aota.livejournal.com]

Here is a school that should be handing out condoms to every student. Or another example of why we shouldn't be cutting funding for sex education. Come on people this is the 21st century we know what causes pregnancy now. Damn!

[opheliasclone.livejournal.com]

It's not the cut funding that bothers me. It's the insistence on funding only abstinence-based sex ed on a federal (and often state) level. The message many kids get is that condoms don't work and other forms of pregnancy prevention are unavailable to them. But having sex will piss off their parents and therefore make them seem cooler to other high school kids.

Unfortunately, this is Darwinism reversed.

[kitblonde.livejournal.com]

This is actually a very important issue. Teenagers never had sex before video game consoles became widely available.

Do you know what this school should do? It should rent out its 65 knocked-up teenage girls to other schools. These schools should have a sex ed curriculum based on watching the preggers girls during the first month and last weeks of their pregnancy, and the childbirth, so nobody ever wants to have sex again. If that doesn't do it, they should all have to take turns babysitting a screaming, probably premature, very likely underweight newborn for a day or two at a time, so the point really gets driven home. Then the teacher will say, "OK, that's what happens when you have sex. Who wants condoms?"