The most realistic career expectations I've read in some time

[sigma7]

AKRON, OH—In a statement delivered to friends, family members, and household pets, Kendall Garretson announced Monday that she would like to become an 13-ton, 275-horsepower John Deere row-crop tractor when she grows up.

..."A tractor," Garretson continued. "Trrraaaaaccctooooor!"