The Onion | Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3

MIAMI, FL—With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities to make their presence felt at the polls on Wednesday, Nov. 3.

And my horoscope:
Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
The stars have something frightfully urgent to tell you, but the new Grand Theft Auto just came out, and they're not leaving the house.
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