I'm not sure who allowed Lake Superior State University to become the grammar police, but I'm glad they don't have actual linguistic power. Given this year's list of words what should be "banished," I'm glad I don't need to lead an armed rebellion against them (though at least they did call it right regarding "frozen tundra," toward the bottom.) Check out the list here, and follow for a blow-by-blow through each of the terms. Very little editing follows. Not really for brevity, as this isn't brief at all....
METROSEXUAL - An urban male who pays too much attention to his appearance. Bob Forrest of Tempe, Arizona, says it "sounds like someone who only has sex downtown or on the subway." Fred Bernardin of Arlington, Massachusetts, asks, "Aren't there enough words to describe men who spend too much time in front of the mirror?" Point taken, but though you could argue that the entymology is misleading, it's a specific term for a specific phenomenon. It's not the best phrase that could've been chosen, but words aren't chosen. They're cultural phenomena. I approve of the word, with reservations.
X - Last year it was 'extreme.' This year, 'X' follows in its footsteps. "Marketers have latched onto this letter to grab the 'Generation-X demographic. X-files, Xtreme, Windows XP and X-Box are all part of this PR-powered phenomenon," said John Casnig of Kingston, Ontario. Wow. Granted, none of those terms were created in 2003. But that's trivial. I'm surprised he doesn't mention the experimental designation of Air Force aircraft like the X-15. If this makes a short list of bitches about the English language, that's just sad.
PUNKED - Kill it before it grows. It is associated with Ashton Kutcher. Annihilate it. Finally, I agree.
PLACE STAMP HERE - Uhm, what? Just like every day is someone's first day visiting a web site, every day is someone's first day mailing a letter. And I think anyone who's sorted mail (or even just been to the post office lately) will assert that they need all the help they can get. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Also see: rest of list.
COMPANION ANIMALS - True. "Pets" works. Animals don't have responsibilities. Sorry.
BLING or BLING-BLING or any of its variations - "Hate, hate. Grate, grate," says Steven Phipps of Pueblo, Colorado. I remain unswayed by your lexical felicity, Steve. So what if it's being adopted by others? Again, specific term for a specific phenomenon that would usually have to be conveyed by a larger and more unwieldy phrase. Suck. It. Up.
LOL and other abbreviated 'e-mail speak,' including the symbol '@' when used in advertising and elsewhere - Bitching about e-mail speak is like arguing on the Internet/running in the Special Olympics: I. Don't. Care.
EMBEDDED JOURNALIST - "I'm a journalist and until the war started, I'd never heard this term. In the interest of objectivity, journalists probably shouldn't be embedded with any organization they regularly cover." Ken Marten, Hamtramck, Michigan. Good point, Ken. And "60 Minutes" getting an interview with Michael Jackson and, in return, airing his held TV special probably shouldn't have happened either. And if you'd have let the journalists roam about the Iraqi countryside during a shooting war, how many more of them would be dead? It's not like the press has turned into flag-licking Toby Keith clones.
"It seems to be a hip way of saying, 'at the scene,'" said Tim Bednall, Tokyo. Wow, a criticism I've both not heard before and also sucks unprecedented ass. It's not, Tim. Specific phenomenon. By the way: shut up.
"The next time I hear it used by the media, I'm going to embed my foot in the TV!" Ellen Brown, San Diego. Go right the hell ahead.
SMOKING GUN - Another one that came to us from Iraq, but is widely used elsewhere. "Let's give the 21-gun salute to this overused analogy," says Andrew Pagano, Montgomery Village, Maryland. "Remember the television show 'Gunsmoke'? Now THERE were smoking guns!" Scot Moss, Madison, Wisconsin. "What's wrong with 'hard evidence'?" Kevin O'Sheehan, Bangkok, Thailand. First off, "hard evidence" does not equal "smoking gun." The smoking gun is the pivotal piece of evidence that proves one's case. That's more definitive than hard evidence. So, in short, shut up.
SHOCK AND AWE - Still another from Iraq. "I'm just waiting on 'Shock and Awe Laundry Soap' or maybe 'Shock and Awe Pool Cleaner,'" says Joe Reynolds of Conroe, Texas. This is one I can do without. Finally. It would've helped had S&A been worthy of awe or registered literal shock.
CAPTURED ALIVE - "The news keeps stating that Saddam Hussein was 'captured alive.' Well, what other way are you going to be captured? Maybe 'found dead' or 'discovered dead' never 'captured dead.'" Bill Lodholz, Davis, California. I suppose you could pick nits and say that one could be killed and recovered by the forces that did the killing, but that would be "killed and recovered," not "captured dead." I can see the point here....
SHOTS RANG OUT - "I'm tired of hearing this phrase on the news. Shots don't 'ring' unless you are standing too close to the muzzle, and in that case you don't need the reporter telling you about it." Michael Kinney, Rockville, Maryland. Dude, urban echoes. Buildings. Shut up.
RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES - Gerald Anderson of Winter Haven, Florida, says, "TV shows are often described as being 'ripped from the headlines.' Kicking and screaming, no doubt." I think it's only "Law & Order" and its progeny that claim such anymore -- incessantly -- but aside from CLONG CLONG I haven't noticed such abuse. Still, "a story derived from current news events" doesn't quite sing that way, does it? Borderline.
SWEAT LIKE A PIG - Tim Croce of Torrington, Connecticut says "Pigs do not have sweat glands; that is why they roll in mud to cool themselves." Nevertheless, Tim said he was sweating like a pig to get this nomination to us. Muh. And euphemisms and expressions of speech need to be factually based? Tim. C'mon. I can understand your point, so you're not an absolute idiot, but surely you can find a better cause to champion.
IN HARM'S WAY - "Who is Harm, and why would you want to get in his way?" Thomas Watts, Sumter, South Carolina. Jesus tapdancing Christ. STFU. Minus points for the moronic rhetoric.
HAND-CRAFTED LATTE: We're not sure where Orin Hargraves of Westminster, Maryland discovered this beauty, but we agreed with his assertion that "This compound is an insult to generations of skilled craftspeople who have mustered the effort and discipline to create something beautiful by hand. To apply 'hand-crafted' to the routine tasks of the modern-day equivalents of soda jerks cheapens the whole concept of handicraft." Let's not call a jihad over "-crafted" versus "-made" here. I don't think anyone's honestly comparing that elegant endtable to a Starbucks brainburster. And maybe skilled craftspeople should grow a little thicker skin.
SANITARY LANDFILL - "Ever been to one?" asks Stan Slade of Long Beach, Mississippi. "Not the cleanest place in the world. What happened to the county or city dump?" Why not "correctional facility," 'cause when was the last time people in prison were actually corrected? The idea that "sanitary" can have multiple or relative meanings is actually lost on you, isn't it, Stan? Then who gave you your grammar cop badge? Turn it in, rookie, and your piece, too, 'cause we're taking you off the street.
Now I'm both angry and sad for the human race. I'll go play with the birds now. At least they can't misinterpret "pretty bird."
METROSEXUAL - An urban male who pays too much attention to his appearance. Bob Forrest of Tempe, Arizona, says it "sounds like someone who only has sex downtown or on the subway." Fred Bernardin of Arlington, Massachusetts, asks, "Aren't there enough words to describe men who spend too much time in front of the mirror?" Point taken, but though you could argue that the entymology is misleading, it's a specific term for a specific phenomenon. It's not the best phrase that could've been chosen, but words aren't chosen. They're cultural phenomena. I approve of the word, with reservations.
X - Last year it was 'extreme.' This year, 'X' follows in its footsteps. "Marketers have latched onto this letter to grab the 'Generation-X demographic. X-files, Xtreme, Windows XP and X-Box are all part of this PR-powered phenomenon," said John Casnig of Kingston, Ontario. Wow. Granted, none of those terms were created in 2003. But that's trivial. I'm surprised he doesn't mention the experimental designation of Air Force aircraft like the X-15. If this makes a short list of bitches about the English language, that's just sad.
PUNKED - Kill it before it grows. It is associated with Ashton Kutcher. Annihilate it. Finally, I agree.
PLACE STAMP HERE - Uhm, what? Just like every day is someone's first day visiting a web site, every day is someone's first day mailing a letter. And I think anyone who's sorted mail (or even just been to the post office lately) will assert that they need all the help they can get. Never underestimate the stupidity of people. Also see: rest of list.
COMPANION ANIMALS - True. "Pets" works. Animals don't have responsibilities. Sorry.
BLING or BLING-BLING or any of its variations - "Hate, hate. Grate, grate," says Steven Phipps of Pueblo, Colorado. I remain unswayed by your lexical felicity, Steve. So what if it's being adopted by others? Again, specific term for a specific phenomenon that would usually have to be conveyed by a larger and more unwieldy phrase. Suck. It. Up.
LOL and other abbreviated 'e-mail speak,' including the symbol '@' when used in advertising and elsewhere - Bitching about e-mail speak is like arguing on the Internet/running in the Special Olympics: I. Don't. Care.
EMBEDDED JOURNALIST - "I'm a journalist and until the war started, I'd never heard this term. In the interest of objectivity, journalists probably shouldn't be embedded with any organization they regularly cover." Ken Marten, Hamtramck, Michigan. Good point, Ken. And "60 Minutes" getting an interview with Michael Jackson and, in return, airing his held TV special probably shouldn't have happened either. And if you'd have let the journalists roam about the Iraqi countryside during a shooting war, how many more of them would be dead? It's not like the press has turned into flag-licking Toby Keith clones.
"It seems to be a hip way of saying, 'at the scene,'" said Tim Bednall, Tokyo. Wow, a criticism I've both not heard before and also sucks unprecedented ass. It's not, Tim. Specific phenomenon. By the way: shut up.
"The next time I hear it used by the media, I'm going to embed my foot in the TV!" Ellen Brown, San Diego. Go right the hell ahead.
SMOKING GUN - Another one that came to us from Iraq, but is widely used elsewhere. "Let's give the 21-gun salute to this overused analogy," says Andrew Pagano, Montgomery Village, Maryland. "Remember the television show 'Gunsmoke'? Now THERE were smoking guns!" Scot Moss, Madison, Wisconsin. "What's wrong with 'hard evidence'?" Kevin O'Sheehan, Bangkok, Thailand. First off, "hard evidence" does not equal "smoking gun." The smoking gun is the pivotal piece of evidence that proves one's case. That's more definitive than hard evidence. So, in short, shut up.
SHOCK AND AWE - Still another from Iraq. "I'm just waiting on 'Shock and Awe Laundry Soap' or maybe 'Shock and Awe Pool Cleaner,'" says Joe Reynolds of Conroe, Texas. This is one I can do without. Finally. It would've helped had S&A been worthy of awe or registered literal shock.
CAPTURED ALIVE - "The news keeps stating that Saddam Hussein was 'captured alive.' Well, what other way are you going to be captured? Maybe 'found dead' or 'discovered dead' never 'captured dead.'" Bill Lodholz, Davis, California. I suppose you could pick nits and say that one could be killed and recovered by the forces that did the killing, but that would be "killed and recovered," not "captured dead." I can see the point here....
SHOTS RANG OUT - "I'm tired of hearing this phrase on the news. Shots don't 'ring' unless you are standing too close to the muzzle, and in that case you don't need the reporter telling you about it." Michael Kinney, Rockville, Maryland. Dude, urban echoes. Buildings. Shut up.
RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES - Gerald Anderson of Winter Haven, Florida, says, "TV shows are often described as being 'ripped from the headlines.' Kicking and screaming, no doubt." I think it's only "Law & Order" and its progeny that claim such anymore -- incessantly -- but aside from CLONG CLONG I haven't noticed such abuse. Still, "a story derived from current news events" doesn't quite sing that way, does it? Borderline.
SWEAT LIKE A PIG - Tim Croce of Torrington, Connecticut says "Pigs do not have sweat glands; that is why they roll in mud to cool themselves." Nevertheless, Tim said he was sweating like a pig to get this nomination to us. Muh. And euphemisms and expressions of speech need to be factually based? Tim. C'mon. I can understand your point, so you're not an absolute idiot, but surely you can find a better cause to champion.
IN HARM'S WAY - "Who is Harm, and why would you want to get in his way?" Thomas Watts, Sumter, South Carolina. Jesus tapdancing Christ. STFU. Minus points for the moronic rhetoric.
HAND-CRAFTED LATTE: We're not sure where Orin Hargraves of Westminster, Maryland discovered this beauty, but we agreed with his assertion that "This compound is an insult to generations of skilled craftspeople who have mustered the effort and discipline to create something beautiful by hand. To apply 'hand-crafted' to the routine tasks of the modern-day equivalents of soda jerks cheapens the whole concept of handicraft." Let's not call a jihad over "-crafted" versus "-made" here. I don't think anyone's honestly comparing that elegant endtable to a Starbucks brainburster. And maybe skilled craftspeople should grow a little thicker skin.
SANITARY LANDFILL - "Ever been to one?" asks Stan Slade of Long Beach, Mississippi. "Not the cleanest place in the world. What happened to the county or city dump?" Why not "correctional facility," 'cause when was the last time people in prison were actually corrected? The idea that "sanitary" can have multiple or relative meanings is actually lost on you, isn't it, Stan? Then who gave you your grammar cop badge? Turn it in, rookie, and your piece, too, 'cause we're taking you off the street.
Now I'm both angry and sad for the human race. I'll go play with the birds now. At least they can't misinterpret "pretty bird."
From:
no subject
From:
D'oh
Though I want a seeing-eye lobster. That would be so cool.
From:
Re: D'oh
I once had a very vivid dream about a Frenchman walking through a big English-speaking city with a seeing eye lobster.
People kept making noises along the lines of, "Mmmm mmmm! Lobster!"
No joke. :-)