This week's Onion works. Highlights include My Reclining Squirrel Kung Fu Stance Is Eminently Defeatable, WDYT: The Rice Confirmation ("Twenty years ago, I never would've believed that we'd have a black, female Secretary of State, much less one who was a conservative warmonger, too. We've come a long way") and Huygens Space Probe Discoveries (A whole bunch of nonsense that contradicts the Bible).
But the Horoscopes are pretty good, too:
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
This Thursday, you'll find out that being nibbled to death by ducks is not merely an elaborate figure of speech.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You may think of yourself as a victim of horribly tragic circumstances, but God put a lot of time and effort into making sure things happened just so.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Unfortunately for you, the Bible addresses the fact that there is a time to live and a time to die, but it's vague on the subject of zombies.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
It's unlikely anything important will happen this week, but if it does, you're urged to contact the zodiac's toll-free Event Transpiration Hotline.
Also, part two of the Mike Webster story. Haunting.
The Enigma device, in PDF format. I'm glad this isn't covered by some arcane intelligence law. Now someone needs to make it out of Lego.
And I'm actually kinda anticipating the rest of Battlestar Galactica hitting the airwaves in the states. Hell of a way to end the season.
But the Horoscopes are pretty good, too:
Aries: (March 21—April 19)
This Thursday, you'll find out that being nibbled to death by ducks is not merely an elaborate figure of speech.
Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You may think of yourself as a victim of horribly tragic circumstances, but God put a lot of time and effort into making sure things happened just so.
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
Unfortunately for you, the Bible addresses the fact that there is a time to live and a time to die, but it's vague on the subject of zombies.
Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
It's unlikely anything important will happen this week, but if it does, you're urged to contact the zodiac's toll-free Event Transpiration Hotline.
Also, part two of the Mike Webster story. Haunting.
The Enigma device, in PDF format. I'm glad this isn't covered by some arcane intelligence law. Now someone needs to make it out of Lego.
And I'm actually kinda anticipating the rest of Battlestar Galactica hitting the airwaves in the states. Hell of a way to end the season.
From:
no subject