Why tech support is not for me

[sigma7]

An honest-to-God e-mail which came in to the return address for my e-mail newsletter system. Names removed to protect the...whatever:

Subject: "just want to easy!"

"i rather have easy to remember for my password not your decide. ok that my choice. understand! cheer up !"

...What? No, really, what? Does someone expect me to do something about this?

I make allowances as best I can. I understand every day is someone's first day on the Internet. I realize not everyone is acquainted with little things like netiquette, punctuation, the intricacies of grammar. I don't even whine about complete sentences. But for the love of cow, people, at least try to use words to relate thoughts and ideas and not slap them onto the screen like a dictionary exploded.

I comprehend two sentences -- three words -- of this entire e-mail.

"understand!" -- a directive to comprehend (however, I do not understand what it is I am meant to comprehend, so I cannot fulfill this directive)

"cheer up !" -- a directive to improve my mood, which I shall attempt, despite every other word of this e-mail

This is not typical, I admit. Most messages are "why doesn't my password work" and "i haven't got your email yet" -- which, while they make me cringe, I at least fathom. The Sphinx-like inscrutability of today's e-mail just baffles me. And yet it's intriguing. Frustrating yet fascinating.

I wish I could sleep.

Comments

[beeform]

I got out of this:

The password you assigned me is too hard to remember! Why wasn't I allowed to pick my own password? I would've been much happier being able to choose my own password when I registered.

Cheer up and have a wonderful day, BWH. :-)

Dat Phan?

[kauricat.livejournal.com]

ROFL This is the funniest thing I have seen for a while. Fabulous. I agree with Bee's translation. This entity would like to choose his/her own password rather than have one assigned. Not sure why the "cheer up!" was added. Very strange. I'm excited to see what happens when this person starts posting. Wheeee!

Re: Dat Phan?

[beeform]

I think Sig is referring to work stuff, so I'm willing to bet we won't be graced with more fun-to-decipher emails...

Awwww

[kauricat.livejournal.com]

Kinda sad that this isn't some net-drifter looking to join Moo-Tang, but it's probably for the best. :)

Re: Awwww

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. Just a work-thing. This isn't the only abomination of English to come down the pipe, but it's certainly the most inscrutable and, thus, entertaining....

[opheliasclone.livejournal.com]

I deal with this every day in the form of secretaries trying to explain technical requests from their bosses, foreign clients attempting to describe a problem without the vocabulary for it, and the occasional lawyer or paralegal who just never leaves their office long enough to gain experience interacting with other people. And it's true. Eventually, the language gets so absurd that it stop being troubling and starts being amusing.

Thanks for an excellent laugh. :-)