To sleep, perchance to...well, sleep

Wow. Still awake. Kill me.

The problem is I have the day shift three days a week, Tuesday through Thursday, then get to work Friday and Saturday nights. This is slightly more problematic than it sounds. There's a one-hour commute involved. And I've already had one pass-out-at-the-wheel-and-wipe-out-orange-pylons experience and that's just enough for me, thank you very much. Add to this the kids -- vocally excited to see Daddy as they are -- the inherent difficulties in trying to stay asleep during the day (and you thought telemarketers were annoying while you were awake), the fact that the weekend papers are invariably later than the weekday papers, and the fact that just making the shift from day-to-night or night-to-day essentially costs you a day of your life....

I thought I could do this, I really did. I was wrong. I'm getting older, slower, weaker. I'd like to chalk it up to my discordant heartbeat, but that can only bear so much blame. I've overloaded on coffee and resorted to Unisom, Sominex, now it's Ambien. And I can't get more than two hours of sleep without chemical assistance now.

Maybe it's not healthy to daydream about being able to sleep. Meh.

I'm just worried that some of this might be contributing to my memory holes. I'm willing to chalk a lot of it up to after-effects of the sedations, but I'm still not 100% sold on it. This post brought to you by Uncertainty, the common theme bringing us all together. Uncertainty. Ask for it by name. Or guess.

Sigh.

Installed Semagic. Is it good? Useful? As you might've already guessed, I'm not sure.

Beck comes through again. What not to do at "Return of the King" and how SEC football teams are like "Lord of the Rings" characters. I can always count on her to brighten me day.

Okay. I'm getting a little drowsy. I hope the kids let me sleep. Heh. File under "not bloody likely" and wake me at 4:30.

Yarrr

The Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Izer. I know, I know. Let me list the things wrong with this:

• Someone out there's probably already done this.


• It's a little late for "Talk Like a Pirate" Day.


• It's not very aesthetic.


• It could already have several dialects built in, like Jive or Bork or Cockney or whatever.

Still, fine, there it is. If not fully satisfied, return unused portion of webpage for a full refund.

Besides, it's an offshoot of a much more ambitious project. One which will be unleashed soon. Moo hoo har har.

Okay, that's it

Still can't sleep. I know, I know. I should be doing something constructive. Meh. I'm stalled with my writing project, and I find my fingers move easier than my legs right now. I think it's because they're smaller.

I can't handwrite worth a damn. I taught myself to write before they shipped me to school. When they tried to "teach" me the "right" way to write, I'd already had it physically ingrained. So yeah, I'm pretty much hopelessly doomed to grabbing the pen in this caveman-like grasp and scribbling like a pre-literate. Just saying.

Fine. I'm taking an Ambien. I'm supposed to be using them sparingly, I guess like the smart bombs in "Defender" or something. I figure when I get this bloodshot and desperate I can fall back on my 10mg little friend.

I've been able to delineate the differences between Sominex, Unisom and Ambien.

( Blah blah blah sleep-cakes.... )