Harry Potter illustrated reviews

Via rewil, the author of the brilliant OotP Illustrated Review brings us her HBP Illustrated Review. Duh, spoilers.

Misery

Nothing ruins a good Thursday like driving two hours. It's time -- overdue, actually -- for a checkup on the ol' ticker. So it's an EKG for me. I'm guessing that the entire appointment will consist mostly of, in order, waiting, getting and EKG, and talking to the doc. He will, more than likely, try to get me to stop taking my heart meds, which is a fantastically awful idea. Not because I like paying for meds, but because every time I forget to take them, my body reminds me with a stray heartbeat or two every minute or so. So I get that feeling of perpetual exhaustion, like I've just run a mile and a half, without any of the actual benefits of exercise. Add to that the heat (which, thankfully, we've just earned a respite from) and, well, I get grumpy. Like I'm not usually, I know.

Still, I'm guessing the whole appointment will take 15 minutes. Hardly worth waking up for. It's always so frustrating, because either whatever's plaguing me remains uncharacteristically perfectly quiet during the EKG, or the doc is nonplussed by my symptoms. Which I guess I can understand. I'm not nearly in as dire shape as any of his other patients, and it's not like I'm doing 255 bpm in a 55 zone anymore. It could be worse, I know, but it could also be better. At least they could give me some Percocet. Just on principle.

Followup: dumber than a box of hair

UNIONTOWN, Pa. (AP) -- A youth baseball coach on Thursday was ordered to stand trial for allegedly promising to pay one of his players $25 to hurt a 9-year-old mentally disabled teammate.

Eight-year-old Keith Reese testified at a preliminary hearing that T-ball coach Mark R. Downs Jr. made the offer before a June 27 playoff game.

"He told me if I would hit [the teammate] in the face, he would pay me $25," Keith said.

...Downs, 27, will be arraigned Sept. 15 on two counts of criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault and one count each of corruption of minors, criminal conspiracy and recklessly endangering another person.

...Reese's father, Keith Reese Sr., testified that the coach admitted after the game to offering his son money to hurt the other boy.

"He told me, 'I did something ignorant. I told [Keith] I'd give him $25 to hit Harry in the face to take him out of the game,'" Reese said.

Because this entire affair wasn't sordid enough already, the latest wrinkle is the corruption of the meaning of the word "ignorant." But that's the least of this waste of flesh's problems right now. (Plus his picture looks like he's wearing a suit three sizes too small and that he should be looking for Blue's Clues.)

PS: Still not king pope dead. Prediction accurate. Sigh.