w00t w00t

Hippo birdie missmiah!

Sock puppet theatre

The Harriet Miers Lookalike Poll. Your candidates: Darrin's Mom in "Bewitched", Jerri Blank, Alice Cooper, Rachel Dratch (who apparently will play her on SNL this weekend), Ozzy Osbourne, Nicole Richie (shudder), Robert Smith and Billie Joe Armstrong.

Edit: we indicated a willingness to accept write in vote. There have been, er, more than expected, with Emperor Palpatine leading the insurgency. Other possibilities:

• Iggy Pop
• Dana Carvey's Church Lady
• Florence Henderson
• The elder Mrs. Bush
• Tracy Ullman
• Chris Kattan
• Swoosie Kurtz
• Tommy Franks
• Estelle Getty
• Madam
• The Joker
• Zell Miller

We'll consider doing a run-off between the poll winner and Palpatine if the Emperor's surge continues, though we will refrain from commenting on the aptness of the write-ins otherwise. Except to say that they are all just as qualified to actually serve as Miers is.

I see the shadowy hand of Trey Parker in this

Salt Lake City, UT -- The Mormon film "Sons of Provo" turned out to be more like son of porno.

Two Utah families say instead of a family film about a religious boy band, the DVD's they bought at bookstores owned by the Mormon church contained the unrated movie, "Adored: Diary of a Porn Star."

Officials of Deseret Book say they're pulling all the "Sons of Provo" DVD's off their shelves.

Apparently the discs got mixed up somewhere in the manufacturing process. Producers of "Adored" say their film has sexual situations but it's not X rated.

The film is about a gay porn star that reconnects with his family.

zzzzzzzz

If You Love Something, Get Rid of It: Nick and Jessica to Divorce - Gawker

The image at right (click to enlarge) probably won’t be on the newsstands until 10 A.M. or so, but we don’t see why you should wait for the news: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, America’s Newlyweds, have called it quits. For those of you so self-loathing as to closely follow these things, you’ll recall that in May, E! online reported that the couple had filed for divorce, only to mysteriously retract the story an hour later. But you knew, right then, that this was coming, didn’t you?

Just to clarify: no, I don't care, and I'm not surprised. I'm just bored. (On further reflection, I guess I do care inasmuch as that this has been a made-for-media relationship, marketed to America and shoved through the cable TV to the desperate and morbidly curious. I'm just left to wonder how much of this is a human tragedy and how much is a media/marketing breakdown....)

Hands up, nobody move in a mysterious way....

If the Virgin Mary had been born 2000 years later, she might have ended up in an Indiana State prison, if Republican lawmakers there get their way. A proposed bill hopes to make criminals out of unmarried women in Indiana who conceive "by means other than sexual intercourse."

I'd seen this story before, but this was my favorite take on it....

This tops python vs. gator, in my eyes

Pit bulls versus cow, to the death. Guess who wins? Warning: icky. Also: Cyrillic.