Squirl düm

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were reportedly too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute....

It has begun.

The gift that keeps on giving...the creeps

The following are among the 1,200 statements in the repertoire of “Yumel,” a talking doll for sale in Japan. The doll is marketed as a “healing partner” for nighttime use by the lonely elderly. According to Tomy, the doll’s manufacturer, over 8,000 have been sold to date. Translated from the Japanese by W. David Marx. Originally from Harper's Magazine, September 2005.

I love you!
Won’t you sleep with me? Promise!
Did you brush your teeth?
Ask me a lot about my dreams.
I had a dream where Mr. Squirrel ate a huge cake.
I had a dream where a chicken was washing dishes.
I had a dream about a beach . . . Never mind, it’s a secret!
Even though I slept a lot, I’m still sleepy.
I want to help out around the house.
I’d be very happy if you played with me.
Let’s do it together!
Did you warm yourself up in the bath?
I want to go to the inside of a whale’s mouth.
Someday I want to go over the rainbow.
Right now, I want socks.
Listen, listen! I had a dream. I ate a potato. And I was studying at school.
Washing clothes is hard, isn’t it?
Is going out shopping hard?
I want cheese.
Why are bunnies’ eyes red?
I wonder what kinds of dreams elephants have.
It’s strange that fish can live in the ocean.
Where does the wind come from and where does it go?
I wonder why the stars don’t fall to the ground.
The sky is so good and big.
Why do you say moshi moshi when you answer the phone? It’s funny!
It’s strange that sometimes you cry when you are laughing.

Those're my favorites, at any rate. Maybe something's lost in translation, because I can't imagine this being the next Tickle-Me-Elmo stateside.