ow

Superb. Apparently the denistry went okay, but I guess I needed laser surgery, which explains why I awoke feeling like I got hit in the face by God. Normally the residual pain is minimal. This time, well, it's enough to put a little misery in my daily drudgery. The idea of solid food is daunting. And I like solid food. Sigh.

And my staff cleaned up the office yesterday and tried to throw away my copy of the paper that featured my former instructor. I did dig it out of the trash, but it's nicely crumpled. Grr. Might as well pitch it, I guess.

All this and no good meds. Today sucks loud.

Collegian interviews stupidest person alive

Though its lead story is a cautionary tale against energy drinks and alcohol, the real beauty in today's Collegian is in this story:

RCPD arrests 3 for stealing license plates

"Greg and Kenneth came up to me on a Sunday and told me they wanted to tell me something," Speese said. "They pulled out a bunch of license plates from the cars. The next day, a Monday, we went and stole a few more...."

...Along with being charged with stolen license plates, Speese was also charged with possession of a fake ID card.

"I don't know if that's a felony, but I never use it," he said. "They just found it in my wallet...."

If I were the Riley County DA, for this day if no other, I'd be a happy man.

Worst quiz answers ever

Ah, how I miss quiz-at-the-library night. DON SHULA! ...ahem.

Yes, I'm stealing Fark links. Shut up, I'm in pain. The Sun Online - Life: Worst quiz answers ever!

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas

The best one of these I've seen is from the American version of Family Feud, with the legendary Richard Dawson, which consisted of three horrific answers in a row (I may've misremembered the order):

The price of a dozen roses? $1.50
Besides a bird, something you'd find in a birdcage? A hamster
A piece of clothing children are always losing? Their pants

It's at this point that Dawson cups his face with his hand, turns toward the stage director and tells him, "Make a note of this episode."

...Of course, nobody noticed

Via The Weekly World News.

At 6:29 p.m. on October 31, the Canadian province of Nova Scotia disappeared....