Okay, but what did you do for the other two hours and fifty-nine minutes?

A jury deliberated for about three hours Tuesday before convicting Ricky Stovall, 46, of repeatedly raping his daughter over three years.

Trent: steal my music, kthx

In China, Reznor is more dispassionate: "As for the special situation in China, it does not seem to be easy to obtain Western music via legal channels, so I have the following suggestion for our fans: If you can find and buy our legal CDs, I express my thanks for your support. If you cannot find it, I think that downloading from the Internet is a more acceptable option than buying pirated CDs. Our music is easy to find on the Internet, and you might not need to spend much effort to find most of our songs. If you like our songs after you've heard them, please feel free to share it with your friends. As I have put all my effort and heart into my music, I sincerely hope that more and more people can share the enjoyment with us."

In Australia, though, where the thermo-chrome coating costs $.83 but the CD is marked up a full $10? "Has anyone seen the price come down? Okay, well, you know what that means - STEAL IT. Steal away. Steal and steal and steal some more and give it to all your friends and keep on stealin'. Because one way or another these motherfuckers will get it through their head that they're ripping people off and that that's not right."

I will say that Reznor has more faith in the cognitive skills of the corporate drone than I do.

This just in: I like Macs, carn't spel

Collegian headline of the day: "Mac systems provide integraded software, protection from spyware"

And this is without reading the...story? Ad? Column? It's none of these. It's...I don't know what it is, really.

For the love of Christ, people.

Edit: no, it gets better -- "Apple computers steal programs from Microsoft, offer few options"

With Windows' system is Microsoft's Internet Explorer, an Internet browser. The Internet browser is free from the Microsoft Web site. After Microsoft decided to develop this browser, Apple came up with its own browser, Safari. Please keep in mind the key words here: after Microsoft. Apple is really not original at all.

Oh my God, there's not enough ink in the world to cover this much concentrated stupidity.

R

If you insist on celebrating Piratical Vernacular Day, I offer a few resources in lieu of my actual participation:

The Talk-Like-a-Pirate-Maker. Feed it a URL and watch it go. Also works with links to make the most insipid drivel entertaining.

Or, if you prefer, hit the online Speak & Spell and just keep jabbing the R key.