Hilly, have a heaping cup of STFU

If you haven't been paying attention -- and God, right now, I don't blame you -- part of Hillary Clinton's claim of "experience" while living in the White House ("Saying that Hillary has Executive Branch experience is like saying Yoko Ono was a Beatle") derived from her claim of playing a role in Bosnian peace efforts. Critics have maintained that it was essentially a USO show, as she went with her daughter Chelsea, Sheryl Crow and Sinbad.

Turns out one of those critics is...Sinbad.

"What kind of president would say, 'Hey, man, I can't go 'cause I might get shot so I'm going to send my wife...oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you.'"

As you may have guessed by now, Sinbad isn't supporting Clinton for president. He's an Obama guy. All because of Clinton.

"What got me about Hillary was her attitude of entitlement, like he messed up her plan, like he had no reason to be there," Sinbad said. "I got angry. I actually got angry! I said, 'I will be for Obama like never before.'"

No, it gets better. The Clinton campaign responds:

Still, defending Clinton against Sinbad the refuter, Singer said, "The sad reality of what was going on in Bosnia at the time Senator Clinton traveled there as first lady has been well documented. It appears that Sinbad's experience in Bosnia goes back further than Senator Obama's does. In fact, has Senator Obama ever been to Bosnia?"

Okay, seriously? I'm less concerned about what this is doing to the standing of the Democratic party than what it's doing to the dignity of the human race right now. And let's not even get started on Gerry Ferraro.

Take a seat

Dude. I just...I.... Dude.

NESS CITY — Law officers in western Kansas are investigating the bizarre case of a woman they say sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said the boyfriend called his office late last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

The sheriff said the woman's muscles had atrophied and that medical personnel had to remove her from the toilet because she was bound to it by "natural means."

Moar: The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Because that's the fast-paced jet-set lifestyle of Ness City. Sometimes things just happen too fast. One minute you're living the American dream, the next you realize your girlfriend has spent two years in the bathroom.

Edit: The first story's answered some questions that've cropped up:

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself," Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat....

...The house had another bathroom he could use.