Okay, today, I needed this

[sigma7]

INDIANAPOLIS—The Indianapolis Colts, after building a perfect 12-0 record so far this season and expecting perhaps only the Seattle Seahawks to pose a major challenge before the playoffs, were shocked and outraged by Tuesday's announcement from NFL head offices that their opponent this Sunday would not be the Jacksonville Jaguars, but the NFL's most explosive and unpredictable franchise: pro football's Harlem Globetrotters....

"I really don't think the Colts can contain a Globetrotter attack led by King Licketysplit, especially when he's throwing to speedster Chester 'Five-Borough' Jenkins, unpredictable catch-master Terry 'Twinkletoes' Holmes, and utility tight end The Honorable-Awfulable Samson," said ESPN football analyst John Clayton. "And let's not forget that all-world running back Walter 'Snazzy Wiggles' Malone is the current leader in yards per strut, and has run for a thousand yards on a single carry four times this season, scoring twice. I'm seeing another blowout in the making."

Bonus points: the Globetrotters' perennial losing opponent is no longer the Washington Generals, but the New York Jets.