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So I finally got to watch X-Men: The Last Stand. It wasn't as bad as I was fearing, but I confess, it did leave me...baffled.
My fear coming into the flick was Brett Ratner, the most obvious change from X2, which was just one of the best superhero flicks ever -- good film and excellent adaptation. Ratner, though, did a yeoman's work. I just can't believe the script. There's half a good script in here, and there's a couple of storylines that either just don't work or aren't integrated into the film in any recognizable fashion.
-- The Phoenix. She becomes powerful enough to kill two characters in moments of uncontrollable passion, and then proceeds to literally stand around and do nothing until the end of the movie. Just can't buy that for a second. There's a lot of ideas associated with the comic Phoenix -- hunger, desire, passion -- and maybe it's unfair to bring those to the movie. Still, the movie needed to justify activating Jean and bringing her to this level of menace and then having her obligingly sit on the sidelines and wait for the other plots to wind themselves up. It didn't.
-- Angel. Also in the category of "obliging subplot," Warren more or less refuses to allow his storyline to be integrated into the movie at all. Take out the Worthingtons' scenes and you can get through this movie just fine. Aside from showing up at the school, does he contribute anything at all? Lame.
-- Rogue. Seriously, what the hell? I don't mean Rogue wanting the cure -- that's canonical enough. Had a cure been offered in the comics 15-25 years earlier in real-world time, she would've jumped at it. Unlike movie-Rogue, though, comic-Rogue had a pretty impressive set of permanently-absorbed powers -- flight, super-strength, nigh-invulnerability (and Carol Danvers's personality/memories to go with it, and further drive her to Xavier's school). Movie-Rogue, not so much. She absorbs...let's see, one power in the Danger Room, then checks out of the movie half-way through, to return to the school sans powers. Ignoring the implied message -- and even the direct message of Bobby telling her this wasn't what he wanted -- that her compromising her genetic structure for a teenage boyfriend, does she plan on staying at Xavier's school now? Without powers? And what of the Kitty/Bobby/Rogue triangle? This is one plot I wanted to follow for a few more weeks of movie-time, just because it's quite clear that it hasn't even started to get messy yet.
And there were a few simple disappointments -- not as much script flaws as script choices:
-- Cyclops. Scott only becomes interesting as a character after Jean is dead. Other than that, he's just...boring. How didMorrison or Whedon put it? "You're Scott Summers. You like homework and vegetables." For me, the intrigue is in seeing what Mr. Test Pattern does when denied his foundation and is left desperate. The answer, according to this movie, is...well, he falls apart at the seams.
-- Halle Berry. Get off the screen. Seriously.
-- Kitty and Colossus. Two interesting characters who actually spend time on screen doing something and figure into the Alcatraz incident. Couldn't we get a little more about them beforehand? I know there's a bit, but it's not enough, not for me.
-- The wire work. People, people, people -- thrown or falling object travel in parabolic arcs, not straight lines, and not at a consistent speed. Maybe this is nitpicking, but there were too many times I just had to cringe because the illusion was so shattered.
That said, there was quite a bit the film really got right:
-- Beast. Kelsey Grammer did a brilliant job, and they nailed his character. There was plenty of him in the script, and it could've used more.
-- Wolverine. Yes, too often the movies become "Wolverine and Friends," but there's a reason. Good character, spot-on performance by Jackman, great direction of the fight versus...Marrow, I'm guessing?...in the forest.
-- A hint at the Professor's more ruthless side. This is something that's more recently become grounds for exploration in the comics, especially by Morrison/Whedon, but it's much less of Charles using his powers however he sees fit and more having to justify a horrible act to a man (Logan) fully ignorant of the possible consequences of inaction. It's just fun to listen to Patrick Stewart lash out indignantly at someone in a quietly angry way.
-- Sir Ian McKellen. I just can't even think of anyone else who could approach this role anymore. Even when he's evil or blind or just plain wrong, Magneto has the personal charisma that his character needs.
It wasn't an awful movie, but it sure didn't seem like a finished script. There was one finished plot and a hell of a lot of plot threads that're never integrated into the story. Ratner actually did a pretty bang-up job with what he had, but this script is still two drafts and probably 20 minutes of screen time from being done, which is normally not bad, if it hasn't already been shot and released as a finished film. It is, to paraphrase Coleridge on Kean, like reading Morrison or Whedon by flashes of lightning, and being left with Howard Mackie when the lights come back on.
My fear coming into the flick was Brett Ratner, the most obvious change from X2, which was just one of the best superhero flicks ever -- good film and excellent adaptation. Ratner, though, did a yeoman's work. I just can't believe the script. There's half a good script in here, and there's a couple of storylines that either just don't work or aren't integrated into the film in any recognizable fashion.
-- The Phoenix. She becomes powerful enough to kill two characters in moments of uncontrollable passion, and then proceeds to literally stand around and do nothing until the end of the movie. Just can't buy that for a second. There's a lot of ideas associated with the comic Phoenix -- hunger, desire, passion -- and maybe it's unfair to bring those to the movie. Still, the movie needed to justify activating Jean and bringing her to this level of menace and then having her obligingly sit on the sidelines and wait for the other plots to wind themselves up. It didn't.
-- Angel. Also in the category of "obliging subplot," Warren more or less refuses to allow his storyline to be integrated into the movie at all. Take out the Worthingtons' scenes and you can get through this movie just fine. Aside from showing up at the school, does he contribute anything at all? Lame.
-- Rogue. Seriously, what the hell? I don't mean Rogue wanting the cure -- that's canonical enough. Had a cure been offered in the comics 15-25 years earlier in real-world time, she would've jumped at it. Unlike movie-Rogue, though, comic-Rogue had a pretty impressive set of permanently-absorbed powers -- flight, super-strength, nigh-invulnerability (and Carol Danvers's personality/memories to go with it, and further drive her to Xavier's school). Movie-Rogue, not so much. She absorbs...let's see, one power in the Danger Room, then checks out of the movie half-way through, to return to the school sans powers. Ignoring the implied message -- and even the direct message of Bobby telling her this wasn't what he wanted -- that her compromising her genetic structure for a teenage boyfriend, does she plan on staying at Xavier's school now? Without powers? And what of the Kitty/Bobby/Rogue triangle? This is one plot I wanted to follow for a few more weeks of movie-time, just because it's quite clear that it hasn't even started to get messy yet.
And there were a few simple disappointments -- not as much script flaws as script choices:
-- Cyclops. Scott only becomes interesting as a character after Jean is dead. Other than that, he's just...boring. How did
-- Halle Berry. Get off the screen. Seriously.
-- Kitty and Colossus. Two interesting characters who actually spend time on screen doing something and figure into the Alcatraz incident. Couldn't we get a little more about them beforehand? I know there's a bit, but it's not enough, not for me.
-- The wire work. People, people, people -- thrown or falling object travel in parabolic arcs, not straight lines, and not at a consistent speed. Maybe this is nitpicking, but there were too many times I just had to cringe because the illusion was so shattered.
That said, there was quite a bit the film really got right:
-- Beast. Kelsey Grammer did a brilliant job, and they nailed his character. There was plenty of him in the script, and it could've used more.
-- Wolverine. Yes, too often the movies become "Wolverine and Friends," but there's a reason. Good character, spot-on performance by Jackman, great direction of the fight versus...Marrow, I'm guessing?...in the forest.
-- A hint at the Professor's more ruthless side. This is something that's more recently become grounds for exploration in the comics, especially by Morrison/Whedon, but it's much less of Charles using his powers however he sees fit and more having to justify a horrible act to a man (Logan) fully ignorant of the possible consequences of inaction. It's just fun to listen to Patrick Stewart lash out indignantly at someone in a quietly angry way.
-- Sir Ian McKellen. I just can't even think of anyone else who could approach this role anymore. Even when he's evil or blind or just plain wrong, Magneto has the personal charisma that his character needs.
It wasn't an awful movie, but it sure didn't seem like a finished script. There was one finished plot and a hell of a lot of plot threads that're never integrated into the story. Ratner actually did a pretty bang-up job with what he had, but this script is still two drafts and probably 20 minutes of screen time from being done, which is normally not bad, if it hasn't already been shot and released as a finished film. It is, to paraphrase Coleridge on Kean, like reading Morrison or Whedon by flashes of lightning, and being left with Howard Mackie when the lights come back on.
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And I *loved* Beast so much in this, so I desperately wished the rest of the movie had matched up to that bit of it. 'Cuz Beast was always my favorite. I like my men blue, fuzzy and scientific.
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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I ALMOST PEED THE CHAIR LAUGHING SO HARD AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA OMG YOU PWN