Monkey monkey

[sigma7]

Every once in a while the Onion outdoes itself, and this week's sports edition is just phenomenal.

NHL Admits Slam-Dunk-Contest Portion Of All-Star Skills Competition A Mistake
"Unfortunately, Jonathan Cheechoo severely injured his back and neck attempting his 360-degree, between-the-legs slam, and Sheldon Souray sliced Ryan Miller's back with his skate blade when he tried to hurdle over him to complete his dunk."

Confused Bill Simmons Picks The Departed To Win Super Bowl
Simmons added that if The Departed doesn't win the Super Bowl, it will be eerily reminiscent of the time the expansion Florida Marlins "practically stole" the Best New Artist Grammy from the Colorado Rockies in 1993.

Bears Lead Rex Grossman To Super Bowl
"They almost literally put Rex on their collective back and carried him through that game. All season long, the Bears have shown that they can win, even in the presence of Rex Grossman."

And two more visual entries:

Michael Vick: 'That Wasn't Marijuana, This Is Marijuana'

Getting The Monkeys Off Their Backs