I KEEL YOU

[sigma7]

Attention bicyclists of the world:

You may either decide to be a pedestrian or a motor vehicle. On campus, you choose to zip across sidewalks with rampant disregard for pedestrians or automobiles at crosswalks. Or maybe you decide that you deserve a full lane of space on a campus road -- until you come to a four-way stop and you decide to eke by the stopped vehicles and the curb. Kansas law says you're a motor vehicle, but if the consensus would rather, I will entertain the notion of a bicycle being simply an enhanced pedestrian, especially given traffic patterns on campus.

But here's the thing. Pick one and stick with it. I've almost killed three people today because they decided to switch from one to the other, to dart into and out of traffic, intermittently obey walk-don't-walk signs. Maybe you deserve to die, but I don't deserve to have to live with that.

Pedestrians: hang up and cross at crosswalks. Do not step in front of me while you're talking to Jake about that awesome beer bong he made out of a pumpkin. You may have the right of way on campus, and yes, the onus may fall upon me to read your stupid fucking mind as to at which moment you're going to decide to zip across the street. The right of way is a wonderful thing, but so is an intact skeletal system. I teach one class, it's physics 101, and it involves independent study in asphalt. Prerequisites are abyssal stupidity and reveling in obliviousness. It's pass/fail, and it meets in your skull once a semester.

Comments

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Huh, no one told me you teach Physical World 1. You gonna need a grader? ;)

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Well, I usually leave that up to the responding officer....

[beeform]

LOLOL!

[patchsassy.livejournal.com]

When I rode a bike to class, I'd always ride on the sidewalks because I'm so damn slow and out of shape that I'd slow the natural progression of traffic. But I would always take the grass route if, for instance, say four sorority girls INSISTED on taking up the entire damn sidewalk because, like, oh my god they HAD to.

I swear, the pedestrians (and freshman...) on campus are stupid. I got a phone call this afternoon from Rachel, berating the stupid new freshmen who didn't have a clue of where they were going.

My biggest problem with people and their cell phones is when they text while walking. I don't care if they gab away on their phones because at least then, their eyes are up and they can actually look around. When they're texting, they're looking down and not paying a bit of attention to anything around them. ARG. I wanted to run several of them over.

If you end up running over them, just claim natural selection when the police show up.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

just claim natural selection when the police show up

I'm not sure the Darwin defense is a sound legal gambit in this state.

What was even more fun was last Tuesday, where the Union was rife with international students -- all fine and good except that they tended to stop in high-traffic areas and point or talk, whatever, just not moving. That I've gone this long without bonking anyone with my Mug o'Doom is impressive. One more miracle and I'm a saint.

[beeform]

One more miracle and I'm a saint.

The week is still young...

[redmonster.livejournal.com]

There's something about technology that makes people behave like jackasses.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

I'm torn between completely agreeing with you and the rapidly-descending realization that I'm probably the ultimate expression of that concept.