Microsoft MusicMurderer

[sigma7]

Oh dear holy God.

Microsoft has a new program called "Songsmith," which, when you feed it a vocal track, will generate the MIDI-esque backing music for you. Technically, it works, I guess, for very small values of "works." Aesthetically it...uhm. How do I work in the word "abomination?"

Don't take my word for it. Watch the videos, and if you hate yourself, turn the music up all the way:

Billy Idol, "White Wedding" (I approve of the banjos, if nothing else)
Rush, "Tom Sawyer" (oh sweet holy God stop)
Marvin Gaye, "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" (Marvin, I'm so, so sorry)
The Police, "Roxanne" (salsa!)
The Beatles, "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" (insufficient medication to make this congeal)
Nirvana, "In Bloom" (set phasers to "bossa nova," Spock)
Radiohead, "Creep" (worst rodeo ever)
Britney Spears, "Toxic" (I may actually like this one more)
Michael Jackson, "Beat It" (WHARRGARBL)

Edit: in addition to the winners in the comments (Ozzy's Polka Train gave me a stroke), don't miss Rick Astley. It's nine kinds of awful, and I'm finding some consistency in the SongSmith drummer's apparent ADHD behaviors....

Comments

[mindset]

Oh god I can't stop laughing

Rocky: The 80s Sitcom Years

[midnightvoyager]

I knew what this was before I clicked. And I STILL cannot stop laughing.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

help me i am bleeding in my mind

[rainfletcher.livejournal.com]

Um.

[tuff-ghost.livejournal.com]

Radiohead's "Creep" and "Never Gonna Give You Up" jazz version are better than the originals!

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

I wasn't sure what "wharrgarbl" would be, but you captured it perfectly.

Hours of hilarity!

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

This is a horrible future that I don't want to live in.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

My favorite bit of "Hotel California" is that the drummer is clearly off his/her Ritalin.

[manekikoneko.livejournal.com]

The most terrifying thing is the idea that people can write actual music and worse, that it will turn the world into the musical episode of Buffy. Which I think proves that it's evil, because that was the work of a demon.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Okay, when I clicked on the Roxanne link, I let out a yell that sort of sounded like "BGAAAAAAH!" and then I started crying.

Dare I click the other links?
...yes. Yes I do. Gods help me.

[ronwe.livejournal.com]

My favourite so far is this version of Metallica's Battery.

[rainfletcher.livejournal.com]

Gotcher email -- sorry about that! Antihistamines are eating my brain and I didn't think about whether or not you'd like to see that particular part of the wayback.

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

No stress whatsoever -- me, I have to rely on plausible deniability these days, especially when it's so evident how little talent I have/had. :/ But it's bookmarked and saved for future trips down memory lane -- gracias!

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

*puts the goggles on her ears*

THEY STILL DO NOTHING!!

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

OH. MY. GOD.

(*sporfl* wonderwall.)

[midnightvoyager]

Gaha, that one killed me.

Also, here's METAL ASTLEY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd2oDClUw20

[endersgame3.livejournal.com]

oh my god. i wish you hadn't shown me this...

i can feel hours of my life leaving me, my ears are bleeding yet I.CAN'T.STOP

[endersgame3.livejournal.com]

also, thank you for the vgift :)

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

'Tis nothing. Just hope you're having a hippo birdie.

[cookie-mccool.livejournal.com]

I don't know, man, I never expected to hear Rush be so... happy. Fuck existential malaise, Tom Sawyer wants to eat pixy stix until he pukes green sugar and watch The Powerpuff Girls for two months straight.

[beagle1971.livejournal.com]

I love how Crazy Train sounds like part of a Weird Al polka medley.

Classic.

[beagle1971.livejournal.com]

I can see Weezer releasing this on an album. Seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ3em9v0-kc