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It is mathematically possible for both the Chefs and the Bolts to make the playoffs. This season.
Seriously, check the math.
It is exceptionally unlikely -- both teams would have to run the table and the Patriots would have to die in a plane crash or disappear into another dimension -- but it's not impossible. Though, even if we were to assume that the possibility of winning every game is a straight 50/50 (and San Diego, Kansas City and whoever plays New England are all going to be underdogs from here on out), those odds are 1-in-32768.
But I'm okay with the Bolts pancaking the rest of the season, because there's only one thing on my Christmas list this year. Yes, the skull of Norv Turner. And if you have to wait until January 2 to get it to me, I...reluctantly understand. I am magnanimous and gracious in my unrelenting thirst for a specific set of headbones.
Seriously, check the math.
It is exceptionally unlikely -- both teams would have to run the table and the Patriots would have to die in a plane crash or disappear into another dimension -- but it's not impossible. Though, even if we were to assume that the possibility of winning every game is a straight 50/50 (and San Diego, Kansas City and whoever plays New England are all going to be underdogs from here on out), those odds are 1-in-32768.
But I'm okay with the Bolts pancaking the rest of the season, because there's only one thing on my Christmas list this year. Yes, the skull of Norv Turner. And if you have to wait until January 2 to get it to me, I...reluctantly understand. I am magnanimous and gracious in my unrelenting thirst for a specific set of headbones.
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I imagine his skull would be relatively leaden, probably from snacking on paint chips through the season, but that it may have crystallized under intense pressure hadn't occurred to me. This may be a more difficult skullectomy than I've ever attempted before.
I've seen Norv wear a cap exactly once, and is most often prowling sidelines with a headset, probably playing "(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles" on infinite repeat. If their last game wasn't in (shudder) Oakland, I'd consider getting a seat just so I could stare at him for three-and-a-half hours, holding a sign that just said "SOON."
But I wouldn't want you to feel obliged to send me a skull, because the next thing you know, I'm sending you skulls, and then we're moving on to rib cages, spines, entire skeletons, and suddenly we're operating out of Temple of Doom (Desert) and Temple of Doom (Midwest). Which would at least cut down on the number of nocturnal Mormon visitors, but might affect property values in a not-positive manner....