Thanks to the glory of the "?format=light" option on LJ, I can now correctly parse for any layout and jump over moodpics. Grabs the first image, regardless of format, out of the body text, even if the image doesn't have an extension (like Scrapbook images). Skips over files that aren't Internet shortcuts. All I need to do is clean up the interface a little bit and it's good to go.
Note: de-hotlinked.
















Note: de-hotlinked.













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Then I zip 'em up, upload them into the picspam generator, and...voila. It's "automatically generated" in the sense that I don't have to write the HTML for the LJ post, nor do I have to manually go to each page and copy the photo over. Most of the time.