How will it end? In flames.

Must be some antiquated notion of ethics -- or maybe my parole officer -- that keeps me from doing cool things like this.

Some time ago, my iTrip stopped working. The good folks at Griffin Technology sent me a replacement right away, and asked only that I destroy the non-working unit and send them photographic evidence.

Awesome. My first contracted hit, so to speak.

There were some ideas: running it over with the car, smashing it with a brick, setting it up on the streetcar tracks and letting a streetcar crush it to smithereens. But in the end, there was really only one thing that we wanted to do: blow it up with model rocket engines.

And if that hadn't worked, there's always the Solar Death Ray.

If the Sci-Fi Channel and ESPN made a movie together....

A swarm of bees invaded the field on Thursday and forced a game between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks to be called after five innings.

The bees literally chased Rockies pitcher Darren Oliver from the mound. He kept trying to go back on the mound, but the bees would go after him again. Finally, he left for good and let another pitcher complete the inning.

"I love this game," Oliver said, "but I like myself a little bit more."

Oliver said the bees apparently were attracted to the coconut oil in his hair gel.

"I guess I must have smelled good. It was kind of funny at first, but after a while I started getting a little nervous and scared out there," he said.

Any way Barry Bonds can attribute his swelled head to bee stings? Oh, I almost forgot, Barry: HA HA HA HAAAA. Ahem. Thank you, karma.

Disturbing IMDb newslets

From today's Studio Brief, dragged straight from the webpage to Semagic: ( 'XXX' and 'Wife Swap' nuggets.... )

One more, then I'll shuddup

Another reason to use Mozilla: the Terri Schiavo status plugin for Firefox.

The good news: if you don't like it, you can uninstall it in just a few seconds, not 16 years.

Edit: Oh, it gets better: terrischiavo. Whoo.